Find Your Strengths

When I was in college and working on my undergraduate degree, each day was like swimming upstream. I had a lot of anxiety surrounding my studying and test taking. This anxiety came with good reason— I wasn’t very good at it.  The information went in my brain and then quickly left.  When I finally did take a test, I often felt that the questions on the test looked foreign compared to the information I had pored over for hours.

 

If a good portion of it was essay, I would be relieved and my anxiety would decrease considerably.  I knew that I could somehow articulate to the professor my level of knowledge on the subject. I didn’t realize until later why this was so much easier for me. One of my strengths was communication (Imagine that). For many years, I viewed these weaknesses in my learning as deficits in my intellect.  I actually bought into the myth that I simply wasn’t as smart as other people. I also bought into the idea that if only I tried hard enough, I could turn my weaknesses into strengths.

 

This idea that I could improve drastically in my area of weakness was ingrained in me from an early age. There is this notion that if you work hard enough and care enough, you too can become a superstar in any arena. Think about it, when you were going through school, did your parents pay more attention to your A’s, or was the focus on your one C? Did you believe that you weren’t trying hard enough and with the right amount of investment, your C could easily be an A?

 

Chances are, the course where you received a C for your efforts was not in an area where your natural talent lied.  The truth is that you have the ability to grow the most in the areas of your strengths. When you take your talent and couple that with practiced skills and knowledge, you have the recipe for off the chart success. Therefore, it makes more sense to invest your energy into areas where you can show the most growth, rather than focusing hours and hours on your areas of weakness. On a side note, there are some weak areas where you still need to be somewhat proficient in life. For example, not being strong in math doesn’t mean you can totally ignore your personal finances. You still need basic skills to get by in the world.

 

Since I have a little bit more knowledge and wisdom than I did when I was 20, I no longer waste my time attempting to become proficient in certain areas that I know aren’t my strengths.  I’m never going to be an excellent painter and you won’t find me scrapbooking anytime soon.  In fact, if you ever saw my artwork, you would chuckle. My skills are low level and I’m fairly certain that my abilities wouldn’t progress too far beyond average.  I’ve made peace with this, and I don’t spend much time thinking about it.

 

However, I have noticed that my writing gets better and better the more I write.  I continue to perfect my skills in coaching women the more I work with clients. I’ve realized that presenting to groups gets easier and my skills only keep getting better the more I practice.  These are all areas where my abilities soar since I have the natural talent.  These are the areas that make sense for me to invest my time and energy.

 

So how about you? Do you know your strengths and utilize them on a daily basis?  Do you spend too much time in your professional and personal life focusing on your weak areas instead of the areas where you can truly excel? If so, then you need to rethink your approach to life.  All you have to gain is success and happiness.

A Break in the Routine

My head was spinning with all the “stuff” I needed to get accomplished today. My “to do” list was unusually long and I was trying to not feel overwhelmed. It was one of those days where you have trouble deciding just where to begin.

 

I’m sure you’ve been in my shoes before.  There’s a good chance that you have a million things to get done as well.  In spite of this situation I found myself in, I wanted to share with you how I ended up spending my morning.

 

When I woke up this morning, I realized that we had received quite a bit of snow. The driveway needed to be shoveled and I was the only one in the house that could do it (Miles the Pug wasn’t volunteering). So, after having my coffee and breakfast, I bundled up with all my layers and ventured outside with Miles to do some shoveling.  I hadn’t worked more than 10 minutes before my next-door neighbor and his three kids insisted on coming over and helping me.  He had a snow blower, which made the job much, much easier.

 

Miles was more than happy to see the kids. The whole family got busy working hard on my driveway.  During the process, 5-year-old Logan’s ears got cold, so I helped him put on his hood.  The girls chattered away about snow days and life.  I burst their bubble by reminding them that they weren’t going to get another snow day and how they better do their homework.

 

When they moved on to shovel another driveway, I called my friend and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk in the snow.  We walked for 90 minutes, trudging through the deep snowdrifts. We marveled at the way everything looked so beautiful.

 

I had many, many things to do.  It was pretty indulgent of me to go for that walk and just enjoy myself.  I really should have been sitting in front of my computer, getting more of my paperwork done. However, something about listening to the kids conversations and being with them made me realize that I needed to enjoy myself in the winter wonderland.  The pure pleasure they had, the excitement that it was a snow day, and the huge smiles on their faces took me back to when I was young. I wanted to enjoy the snow and have as much fun as them!

 

Now the story could have ended with me going back to work, feeling guilty for taking the time to play when I should have been responsible and working. I could have spent the whole day in a funk, thinking about how I let myself down.  But I didn’t. I came back from my walk feeling alive and energetic. The irony is that when I got back to my desk, I was very productive, creative and focused.  And that’s exactly why I’m sharing this story.

 

If you don’t watch it, you can get stuck in the rut of work, routine and responsibility.  You can stay there so long that you forget how to have fun. You have to realize that there are times where you just need to appreciate the moment. The work will always be waiting for you when you get back.  And it just might change your whole perspective.

 

The 4 Habits of Happy People

It’s not as hard as you think to find happiness. It’s right under your nose, but you’re probably too busy fretting or worrying to notice it.  Everything comes down to habits. The bottom line is that positive people have good habits that bring more happiness into their lives.

 

They reach out to others and spread good feelings around. 

Humans are genetically wired to need social connections in their life.  Happy people realize this and are always looking to fill this need and spread positive energy. Just last week, I was standing in the Starbucks line waiting on my tall vanilla latte when I looked over at a woman next to me.  She said, “I’m sorry, I know you’re looking at me because you think I took cuts in line, but I’m just waiting for my coffee”.  I looked over at her and said, “Actually, I looked over at you because I noticed the color of your sweater looks really good on you”.  She smiled and said, “I was looking at you and thinking you had the prettiest smile”.  We both left the line feeling great.

 

They find the “funny” in life.

If you’ve lost your humor, please go searching for it.  Laughter is what gets you through the tough times.  Just this morning, I was getting frustrated because my cat Biscuit had walked across my keyboard and changed the resolution on my computer.  I spent way too much time researching the issue and trying different methods, but nothing seemed to fix the problem.  At my wits end, I decided to leave for lunch. When I came home two hours later, I found Biscuit lying on the open computer. I yelled at him and then looked at the computer.  He had fixed the problem with his strategically placed body parts.  The irony of the whole situation made me laugh very, very hard.

 

They have gratitude in life for all things big and small.

You will never find your happiness if you can’t appreciate what you have right now. Not only that, but true happiness also comes in the smallest of packages.  Just two days ago, I had found this pretty sweater that was on the “60% off” sale rack at Kohls.  The price was already phenomenal, but when I went through the checkout line, the employee asked me if I had a coupon.  I didn’t, but the lady behind me shared that I was welcome to use her 30% off coupon.  I thanked her profusely and received quite a deal. The excitement from that bargain and the kindness of my checkout neighbor kept me flying high for the rest of the night.

 

They understand that their happiness will only be found from within.

It’s interesting.  Everyday I come across women that are investing so much time and energy in trying to change others.  They really believe that their happiness and peace is contingent on this change. Only when they give up this notion of control will they begin their journey to more peace and serenity. If you could remember that you can only control your responses to other’s actions and behaviors, you’ll be closer to finding your happiness.

 

So how did you stack up?  Could you use some improvement in your happiness habits? My suggestion is that you start today and power up your positive quotient.