Finding Inner Sass in Your Career

Recently, I was having a conversation with a woman at a lunch event.  I introduced myself by saying my usual, “I help women find their inner sass”.  This woman responded like so many women do, by informing me that she already had her inner sass.  The thing is that I’m not so sure.  Having your inner sass in your career doesn’t mean you have an attitude or you let people have a piece of your mind.  It means that you have the courage and strength to make good decisions.  Often, I believe that many women misinterpret this very important distinction.

 

It means that you have a sense of when to talk and when to not.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t have your voice. A woman that truly has her inner sass has the ability to be patient and hold back her opinion when it’s appropriate. It’s an important skill to be able to discern when to speak up and when to keep quiet. Also, mastering this skill can make a world of difference in your future success. Women with their inner sass have the strength to stay quiet, assess the situation and think things through before taking any action. They don’t make impulsive decisions that come back to haunt them later in their career.

 

It means that you don’t stay in your job when it’s time to move on.

I’m sure there’s been a time in your life when you stayed past your job’s expiration date.  I’ve certainly done this. Frankly, I did it because it was easier than venturing outside and braving the elements. Why do we do this? It’s because in your present situation, at least you know what to expect.  Humans like routine and you’re no exception to the rule.  Considering leaving a job or career can encourage you to play the “what if” game.  What if the new workplace is worse, what if I hate my job, etc.  It requires sass to ignore the “what ifs”, take the chance and make that leap to find your happiness.

 

It means that you know how to take responsibility when you’ve been wrong.

It happens eventually to everyone. You make a mistake at work that will affect others. Having your sass doesn’t mean you can’t make colossal mistakes now and then. However, your sass is contingent on how you HANDLE the mistake. It takes courage and strength to take responsibility for your mess-up.  It’s easier to try to slide it under the radar or blame it on someone else.  However, taking full responsibility and being proactive in the way you handle the mistake shows integrity and character. It shows others that you are a true leader.

 

It means that you have the courage to say, “I don’t know”.

Your brain is telling you “I should know this and not knowing makes me look incompetent”. However, that can’t be further from the truth.  I’m sure you’ve witnessed a situation where someone tried to make others believe they had the answer when they really didn’t.  I bet you didn’t respect them too much after this charade.  Being honest and saying, “I don’t know but I’ll find out” shows integrity, confidence, and sass.

 

So how did you stack up? Do you have some areas that could use some improvement? Be honest with yourself and make the changes to own your sass!

 

“What If” Moments in Life

I read the forecast the night before and it didn’t look promising. Rain, rain and more rain was expected throughout the day.  I shared with my husband that I was disappointed I wouldn’t be able to go for a walk outside.  He didn’t understand why I couldn’t just go to the gym if I wanted some exercise.

 

For me, going to the gym is very different than being able to walk outside.  I enjoy walking around the neighborhood, watching all the spring flowers bloom and hearing the birds chirping.  A walk in nature helps me relax and gets me in a creative mode.

 

I kept peering outside to see if it was raining yet.  Could I beat the rain?  Could I get at least a 15-minute walk in before the downpour started?  I decided to take my chances and go for it.  As I enjoyed my walk outdoors, it suddenly dawned on me that twenty minutes had passed and it hadn’t rained yet.  When I hit 40 minutes on my walk, the sun graced me with its presence.  With no sign of rain in sight, I continued to walk.

 

As I peered up at the sky, it occurred to me.  What was the reason I couldn’t go for a walk— because it was going to rain? What exactly was going to happen if it did rain on me?  As far as I could tell, the worst that thing to happen would be that I would come back wet and would have to change my clothes. By the time I got back to my house, I had walked a good hour and the sun was shining.  I felt accomplished, and energized to get some work done.

 

I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme while coaching clients.  It’s called the “what if” syndrome.  What if I take that new job and I hate it?  What if I start a new business and it fails miserably?  What if I buy that house and I’m not happy there?  You can play the “what if” game in every facet of your life. In fact, the “what if” game can keep you paralyzed. For any decision that you make in life, you can certainly find the reasons why it might not be the absolute best decision.   If you’re a really dedicated thinker, you’ll be able to come up with a justifiable explanation in almost every situation.

 

Although being deliberate in your decision-making can be a positive asset, being too deliberate in your thinking can definitely work against you.  It can hold you back from taking part in many life experiences that move you forward.  Taking a risk, big or small, is part of living. It starts with something simple like taking the chance to go for a walk in unpredictable weather. It leads to something more major like making a career change.

 

I’ve decided that instead of playing the “what if “game, I’m going to consistently play the “so what, it’ll all work out” game. I suggest that you do the same.

 

 

“What If” Moments in Life

I read the forecast the night before and it didn’t look promising. Rain, rain and more rain was expected throughout the day.  I shared with my husband that I was disappointed I wouldn’t be able to go for a walk outside.  He didn’t understand why I couldn’t just go to the gym if I wanted some exercise.

 

For me, going to the gym is very different than being able to walk outside.  I enjoy walking around the neighborhood, watching all the spring flowers bloom and hearing the birds chirping.  A walk in nature helps me relax and gets me in a creative mode.

 

I kept peering outside to see if it was raining yet.  Could I beat the rain?  Could I get at least a 15-minute walk in before the downpour started?  I decided to take my chances and go for it.  As I enjoyed my walk outdoors, it suddenly dawned on me that twenty minutes had passed and it hadn’t rained yet.  When I hit 40 minutes on my walk, the sun graced me with its presence.  With no sign of rain in sight, I continued to walk.

 

As I peered up at the sky, it occurred to me.  What was the reason I couldn’t go for a walk— because it was going to rain? What exactly was going to happen if it did rain on me?  As far as I could tell, the worst that thing to happen would be that I would come back wet and would have to change my clothes. By the time I got back to my house, I had walked a good hour and the sun was shining.  I felt accomplished, and energized to get some work done.

 

I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme while coaching clients.  It’s called the “what if” syndrome.  What if I take that new job and I hate it?  What if I start a new business and it fails miserably?  What if I buy that house and I’m not happy there?  You can play the “what if” game in every facet of your life. In fact, the “what if” game can keep you paralyzed. For any decision that you make in life, you can certainly find the reasons why it might not be the absolute best decision.   If you’re a really dedicated thinker, you’ll be able to come up with a justifiable explanation in almost every situation.

 

Although being deliberate in your decision-making can be a positive asset, being too deliberate in your thinking can definitely work against you.  It can hold you back from taking part in many life experiences that move you forward.  Taking a risk, big or small, is part of living. It starts with something simple like taking the chance to go for a walk in unpredictable weather. It leads to something more major like making a career change.

 

I’ve decided that instead of playing the “what if “game, I’m going to consistently play the “so what, it’ll all work out” game. I suggest that you do the same.

 

 

Six Signs You Need to Leave

I’ve been there a couple of times in my career and I can still remember how horrible it felt. I’m talking about that feeling at work when there are too many hours in the day and days in the week. You’re constantly watching the clock and living for when you go on your next vacation. You are unhappy.

 

If anyone is experiencing those feelings right now, it could very well be a sign that you need to leave your job. Here are 6 similar signs that indicate you might need to make a change in your life as quickly as possible:

 

Your anxiety heightens the closer you get to your workplace.

Are you in a bad mood every Sunday because Monday morning work is fast approaching?  Does your angst increase the closer you get to the office building?  Do you get a pit in your stomach on your drive to the office? When just thinking about going to work makes you feel sick, heed the warning. These are all indicators that you’re in need of a major change in your life.

 

You spend a lot of time rationalizing why your job is perfect for you.

Actually, I speak from experience on this one. I remember spending the entire drive to work rationalizing why this job was good for me. The hours were great, I didn’t have to work that hard, and I made decent money. I also remember spending the whole drive home doing the exact same thing. The funny thing is, I never felt any better when I was done with this brain exercise. You know why? It’s because I wasn’t listening to my heart.

 

You’re easily bothered by even the smallest things at work.

When you’re at the wrong job, everything bugs you.  Mary, in the next cubicle, gets on your nerves.  John, your manager, irritates you because of his brown-nosing ways.  You spend the days obsessing about these irritations and blow them way out of proportion. You spend the evenings rehashing the stories with all your friends and family. The more you talk, the worse you feel. You waste numerous hours ruminating about these silly interactions because you’re unhappy.

 

You’re jealous of your friend’s career and more.

You think that everyone is better off than you.  Everyone has a better career, makes more money, goes on great vacations and has a better family situation. You might even have difficulty helping good friends celebrate accomplishments and happy times. When you’re really unhappy in your job, you have difficulty seeing reality. You view the world through dirty, dusty glasses.

 

Your energy level is lower than normal.

Not only is your energy level low, you just don’t feel so great.  You keep trying to push yourself, but you certainly don’t feel like YOU!  The stress level lowers your immune system and the constant anxiety is exhausting. Don’t underestimate how being in a job that feels like an uphill battle eventually takes a toll on your body, physically and emotionally.

 

You’re not doing your best work.

The truth is that you’re sliding by. You’re producing average work and getting through the days. No one really notices that you’re not doing your best and you rationalize that fact (see sign #2).  However, not doing your best work feels horrible and does a number on your self-esteem.  Not being challenged and able to fully utilize your strengths just doesn’t feel good.

 

If any of this sounds even vaguely familiar to you, then maybe you need to contemplate some changes. Don’t waste another day settling for this existence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Six Signs You Need to Leave

I’ve been there a couple of times in my career and I can still remember how horrible it felt. I’m talking about that feeling at work when there are too many hours in the day and days in the week. You’re constantly watching the clock and living for when you go on your next vacation. You are unhappy.

 

If anyone is experiencing those feelings right now, it could very well be a sign that you need to leave your job. Here are 6 similar signs that indicate you might need to make a change in your life as quickly as possible:

 

Your anxiety heightens the closer you get to your workplace.

Are you in a bad mood every Sunday because Monday morning work is fast approaching?  Does your angst increase the closer you get to the office building?  Do you get a pit in your stomach on your drive to the office? When just thinking about going to work makes you feel sick, heed the warning. These are all indicators that you’re in need of a major change in your life.

 

You spend a lot of time rationalizing why your job is perfect for you.

Actually, I speak from experience on this one. I remember spending the entire drive to work rationalizing why this job was good for me. The hours were great, I didn’t have to work that hard, and I made decent money. I also remember spending the whole drive home doing the exact same thing. The funny thing is, I never felt any better when I was done with this brain exercise. You know why? It’s because I wasn’t listening to my heart.

 

You’re easily bothered by even the smallest things at work.

When you’re at the wrong job, everything bugs you.  Mary, in the next cubicle, gets on your nerves.  John, your manager, irritates you because of his brown-nosing ways.  You spend the days obsessing about these irritations and blow them way out of proportion. You spend the evenings rehashing the stories with all your friends and family. The more you talk, the worse you feel. You waste numerous hours ruminating about these silly interactions because you’re unhappy.

 

You’re jealous of your friend’s career and more.

You think that everyone is better off than you.  Everyone has a better career, makes more money, goes on great vacations and has a better family situation. You might even have difficulty helping good friends celebrate accomplishments and happy times. When you’re really unhappy in your job, you have difficulty seeing reality. You view the world through dirty, dusty glasses.

 

Your energy level is lower than normal.

Not only is your energy level low, you just don’t feel so great.  You keep trying to push yourself, but you certainly don’t feel like YOU!  The stress level lowers your immune system and the constant anxiety is exhausting. Don’t underestimate how being in a job that feels like an uphill battle eventually takes a toll on your body, physically and emotionally.

 

You’re not doing your best work.

The truth is that you’re sliding by. You’re producing average work and getting through the days. No one really notices that you’re not doing your best and you rationalize that fact (see sign #2).  However, not doing your best work feels horrible and does a number on your self-esteem.  Not being challenged and able to fully utilize your strengths just doesn’t feel good.

 

If any of this sounds even vaguely familiar to you, then maybe you need to contemplate some changes. Don’t waste another day settling for this existence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advance Your Career

I’m beginning to see a pattern. A number of the young clients that I’ve worked with are struggling to thrive in their careers.  The bloom happens during that first job right out of school.  They’re unhappy and they can’t figure out why or what to do about it.  I know exactly what’s running through their mind: they’ve worked hard, they’ve done all the right things, yet they’re still in a bad place.

 

I began to give this more thought within the last few days as I read Sheryl Sandlin’s new book, “Lean In”.  In the book, she relays the steps she took to advance her career and she candidly shares the mistakes she made along the way.

 

After some thought, here’s a couple suggestions for young (and not so young) women struggling to find happiness in their career:

 

Know who you are and what you want in your career and personal life

This might sound like common sense to you, but there are many women that have no idea what they need and want. How can you possibly begin to search for that next step unless you know what makes you happy and what you need? Don’t even waste your time looking at job openings until you’ve done the hard work. Do you know your passions and strengths?  Are you very clear on your talents in life and where you shine? One way to discover more about yourself is to get involved in activities outside your current job.  You never know where you’re going to discover (or rediscover) a talent.

 

Be able to make the hard decisions and offend people

Sheryl mentioned this in her book and I agree 100%. Women like to be seen as nice and this often becomes a big, fat roadblock in their career.  I’m not advocating stepping on others to move up the ladder, however, there will be times where you make a decision and not everyone is going to love you.  That doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision; it just means that you take pride in making the right decision over making the decision that’s popular. That’s called integrity.

 

Realize that you have the power to change your situation

I’ve wasted a lot of time in past jobs trying to rationalize my current situation.  This is a futile exercise that will only prolong your misery. You have a lot more choices than you THINK you do.  Just because you’re unhappy in your current situation doesn’t mean that you can’t create a new and improved situation. Brainstorm possibilities right where your feet are planted. Be proactive and talk to key people in your present organization that are knowledgeable about opportunities. Focus on solutions and keep an eye on your goal. And here’s the big one: let people KNOW what you want.

 

Be willing to take a step backward to move forward

This is a hard one for many women to accept. In fact, this thinking keeps women in jobs that they can’t stand.  It’s not easy to take a step back, but if you’re in a new position more aligned with your strengths, you’ll grow quickly.  Realize that career growth is not always a linear process— there’re ups and downs and stumbles. Many women reinvent themselves at different points in their careers. Just keep the momentum going.

 

Don’t stop believing that you’re capable of great things

It all comes back to this very statement. Without your unwavering belief of YOU, it won’t happen. Sure, we all waver now and then, but a core foundation of belief is necessary for you to build career success. It’s truly all about the power of positive thinking.

 

Own your power and go after what you want!