Around Mother’s Day, my thoughts are always with my own mother who I lost many years ago. Although she isn’t around to see her grandsons grow up, her influence has definitely been felt throughout the years.
I was one of those lucky few that had a mother that passed down an excellent blueprint for being a mom. She wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. Neither am I. However, she definitely got the most important things very, very right. So, in memory of my mom, let me share why my mother definitely had her inner sass.
She was always nonjudgmental when it came to my life decisions. Which means, she listened to me and let me make up my own mind. She didn’t tell me what decision I should make or what I should think. She just listened and helped me come to my own decisions. Even though I knew what she would want my life to look like, I knew she accepted me for who I was at my core. Looking back, I don’t know how she kept quiet in certain situations! But she did, and her unconditional acceptance truly helped me become a strong woman and have my own voice.
She repeatedly told me that I deserved the best in life. Guess what happened? I grew up to think that I deserved the best in every aspect of my life. I’m not talking about entitlement here! I was always willing to work hard to get what I wanted in life. I just felt that I never had to settle for anything and I was certainly never desperate. Not with men, jobs, friendships etc.
She was a kind, loving person that showed how she felt about you. This used to embarrass me when I was younger. Why did she always have to get in personal conversations with the bagger at the grocery store? Why did she have to grab the hand of whomever she was talking to? It used to drive me crazy until I was older and realized how people really felt about my mom. They loved her. She was a warm, caring person and people felt her warmth when in her presence. Their walls came down when she was around. Funny thing is that I often find myself saying and doing the exact same things.
She taught me how to handle conflict in a healthy manner. My mom and I had horrendous fights that often ended in tears and with doors banging (that was me). However, no matter what we fought about or how bad it got, we always talked it out and got to the bottom of the situation. We always ended the fight hugging and saying that we were both sorry. Fights between my mom and dad played out the exact same way. What I learned was this: you can have bad conflicts where you express how you feel but still work things out at the end. Because of this, I always felt confident in conflict situations and never shied away from uncomfortable truths.
She treated every person with the same amount of respect. It didn’t matter if you were a garbage collector or you ran a large corporation. She really didn’t care how much money you had in the bank. What she wanted to know was this— were you a kind, caring person that treated others well? I learned at a very young age not to be impressed by what people possessed, but by how they live their life.
So thanks Mom, for giving me such a wonderful example of a woman that has her inner sass. Although you are no longer physically here with me, I sense your presence daily with everything that I achieve in my life.