Eliminating Stress

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Is anyone out there feeling some stress today?  I’ll make an educated guess that most of you are feeling some level of stress.  It has become the norm in our everyday lives. However, you don’t have to live your life this way.  There are strategies that you can utilize and decisions that you can make to lower or eliminate the stress that you feel on a daily basis.  Here are some tactics that might help you lower your level of stress and enable you to enjoy your life more.

 

Get an objective view of the situation

I understand that you lead a busy life. You have a lot of different responsibilities on your daily priority list.  However, you can become so overwhelmed with your commitments and responsibilities and so hyper focused on your own experience that you can no longer see things clearly. In order for you to get a more realistic view of your life, ask yourself the following questions:

 

1. What impact would this have on my life or others if I don’t follow through with this responsibility?

 

2.  Is the impact worth my level of stress and anxiety?

 

By asking these questions, you could force yourself to see that it isn’t the end of the world if you drop this commitment.  It’s so easy to get lost in the endless loop of stress or anxiety that you can lose sight of whether it even truly matters.

 

Watch your extreme thinking when you start getting stressed

Think about someone you would deem as stressed or anxious.  Chances are they talk in extremes and their extreme thinking fuels their anxiety.  They pepper their communication with words like  “have to”, “always”, “never”, “must” and “should”. They speak in hyperbole, setting themselves up for more stress. This communication style is simply fuel to the fire.  The running dialogue is always swirling in their head, and it’s the perfect storm for a life filled with stress and anxiety. Until they address what they’re telling themselves and make an effort to manage it, the stress and anxiety will only get worse. We all fall into this pattern now and then, so make an effort to acknowledge it and take action.

 

 

Stay away from stressful people

Do you know any people in your life that are stress mongers? These are the ones that just resonate with anxiety.  Every time you’re around them, stress just seeps out of their pores. The problem is that it usually then seeps into your pores.  Their goal is for you to understand the level of stress that they are feeling.  However, what actually happens is that they successfully transfer that stress to you.  Often, you leave the conversation feeling stressed and anxious while they go on to their next victim. I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that they probably don’t follow through on any advice you give them.  My suggestion to you is to minimize your time with these individuals.  If it’s impossible, just don’t engage in the anxiety talk and change the subject in the conversation.

 

Steve Maraboli said the following,

 

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health.  Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”

 

 

Please keep this in mind the next time you’re tempted to fall into this unhealthy pattern.

 

In the Wind

bag in windI was driving down the highway the other day when I noticed something up in the sky. As I drove closer to the object, I was able to assess what was up there. The object appeared to be a plastic bag, the kind that you get at the grocery store.  The bag was flying up and down and around with such energy. It followed no pattern or course, simply depending on the next big gust of wind to decide its fate.

 

The whole experience reminded me of a number of people that I’ve come across in my life.

 

I had a conversation with a young man a couple years ago.  The talk turned to his part-time job, so I asked him how it was going.  He lamented that his hours had been cut and felt angry about the whole situation.  He told me exactly how he was going to be affected by this unfortunate turn of events.  He definitely did his fair share of complaining.

 

I listened to him for a while before I spoke.  I asked him the obvious question— had he had discussed the cutbacks with his supervisor?  He looked at me incredulously and said no. When I asked him why he hadn’t had a discussion with this boss, he really didn’t have an answer.

 

I explained to him that he needed to ask WHY his hours had been cut. Then, with his boss, he needed to outline the reasons why allowing him to keep those hours would be the right decision. Frankly, none of this had ever occurred to him.  He didn’t feel that he had a choice in the situation. I believe he was just waiting for that next big gust of wind to decide his fate.

 

I talked to a young woman on the phone today. Earlier this year, she had lost her job to an unfortunate turn of events. She spent hours researching, networking and pounding the pavement to find another job. It didn’t surprise me that she found the perfect match fairly quick in her journey. Today she shared that, again, her new employer is taking drastic measures to cut back and a whole team has been laid off.

 

This is devastating news considering she just got back on her feet. However, I was impressed by the strength in her voice.  She refused to waste time whining about what couldn’t change and she was already busy networking and researching how she could take charge in her situation. She was adamant that she would control her destiny. She would not accept that the next big gust of wind would decide her fate.

 

I hate to say this, but I know individuals that have spent their whole lives in this pattern.  They float and bob from one job or relationship to the next, letting others decide their fate.  When the wind stops, they land. Usually, they blame their misfortune on others, never accepting the fact that the whole time, they had the ability to control their own path in life.

 

This is your reminder that you don’t have to be that plastic bag taking flight in the wind, unsure of where you’re going or when you will land.

 

You have the power to control your own destiny.

 

 

 

 

 

Perfectionitis

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A few years ago, I spoke to a large group of moms about finding happiness in life.  The audience was a diverse mix of mothers; ones that stayed home with their children and ones that combined a career with motherhood.  I have to admit that I received a number of really fabulous questions from the audience.  However, there’s one question that I can’t seem to ever forget.

 

I believe it best represents this idea of perfection that some people strive to achieve.

 

A woman in the back of the audience stood up and shared that no matter how productive she is during the day, she feels like a failure if she goes to bed and her floors aren’t clean.  She admitted that most nights, she lies in bed thinking about how she failed again because her floors are filthy.  She was exhausted for feeling this way but didn’t quite know what to do about it.

 

I asked her if she truly thought that when her kids grow up they would remember whether their floors were spotless in their childhood. Not a chance. However, they would remember their relationship with their mother and the feelings of warmth they received from their family.  Now, let me be clear that I’m not advocating an unclean home by any means. What I am advocating for is a rational approach to housekeeping and the ability to forgive your self if things aren’t exactly perfect in every part of your life.

 

Perfection can be an exhausting habit to maintain over time. I know firsthand that it can control and severely limit your life.  Yes, I’m writing this as a recovered perfectionist.

 

But somewhere along the way of gaining more self-awareness and understanding, I made a decision that perfection was not something positive to attain in my professional or personal life. Most of the time, I was able to control this dysfunctional approach to life, but once and awhile it would rear its ugly head again. For example, I remember when I was working on my Masters and I took a final in one of my hardest classes.  I came home extremely upset because I was convinced that I received a bad grade on the exam. If I received a B or C on the exam, I would receive a B in the class. If I received a B in the class, I would no longer graduate with a perfect 4.0. If I didn’t graduate with a perfect 4.0, apparently, the world will have ended.

 

I emailed my professor and explained my concern over how bad I had done on the test. I was anxious, sad and quite a mess for the next 30 minutes.  That’s exactly how long it took for my professor to write me back. I received a very long letter from him about his life and his struggles.  I got halfway through this letter and stopped to question why any of this had to do with MY issue.  Then I continued to read and understood the meaning.  He was sharing how his struggles, and his grades had no significance to his current success in his life.  His grades were just grades— that’s it.

 

Finally, I got to the end of the long letter and read the last line.

 

“Oh, by the way, if it still truly matters to you, you got an A on the exam, which means that you got an A in the class”.

 

I felt like a fool. In fact, the whole thing made me think about how perfection can be destructive. Was I really not a worthy person if I received a B?

 

That’s what striving for perfection really comes down to: your feelings of worthiness as a human being. As long as you meet all the expectations set by you, for you, you have a shot at being a worthy individual.  The minute you fall short, you have failed the test of life.

 

I hope you reevaluate this expectation and change some thinking, as I did years ago.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Instant Gratification

It started with a funny feeling in my throat.  It wasn’t exactly a feeling of pain; it was more like a tickle. It went downhill from there into a dry hacking cough and a general malaise.  I spent Wednesday searching for a Wedding dress for my future daughter-in-law.  By the middle of the afternoon, I was moving slower and wishing that I could lie down on the nearest couch. I had a cough, a cold and a total lack of energy.

 

By today, I had difficulty talking for long periods of time without feeling like I was going to start coughing uncontrollably.  My husband heard me in the other room and said, “When are you going to go to the doctor?”  Here’s the reason why that might not happen.

 

I’ve been down this road before with the exact same symptoms.  I go to the doctor and after the exam he announces that there’s an 80% chance that all my symptoms are just viral and have to run their course. Antibiotics won’t help, since chances are, my illness is not bacterial.  However, he will always prescribe them to me if I would desire to take them.

 

This reminded me of the article I recently read in the Cincinnati Enquirer on Chronic Pain Management. Dr. Akbik was quoted as saying, “People want to go to a restaurant and eat everything, then take a tablet to not gain weight. If they’re in pain, they want to take a pill to make it go away.  The concept of us working hard to achieve something has been taken over by “take a tablet and you’ll get what you want.”

 

I happen to think he’s right.  We want to believe that any discomfort and any illness can be easily treated with a pill. Any problem that we have can easily be solved with the right medication.  This mentality keeps the pharmaceutical industry in business.  However, I believe this mentality isn’t healthy for us.

 

When I worked as a therapist, my clients often were prescribed a myriad of medications to help them feel better. They depended on these medications to change their life.  Invariably, I would have a talk with them about changing their lifestyle to include exercise, healthy eating etc.  These changes coupled with medication, could truly make the difference in their lives. However, most of the time, these individuals expected the medications to give them the life they want without making any other needed changes.

 

Let’s be honest here.  Taking a pill is the easy part.  Overhauling your eating, sleeping and exercising, a total lifestyle change, is the hard part.  It takes commitment and discipline hourly and daily.  It will probably be fairly uncomfortable in the short-term but will pay off for you in the long-term.

 

Back to my annoying cough and general lack of energy— this too shall pass. I’ll eat right, try to take it easy and get plenty of rest.  If my symptoms worsen, I’ll definitely consult a doctor.  In the meantime, I believe I’ll have to tough it out and just wait for the virus to run its course.

 

In life,  there isn’t always an easy and instant solution for every problem that you encounter. This one will probably take some patience.

Giving Back

 

I was finishing up a meeting with some friends today when the talk turned to the holiday season.  They suggested that I write a blog about how to control the typical stressors of the holiday season. As I mulled this over, one of my favorite people, Morgan Lyn, shared what she had recently done to make the season a little bit brighter.

 

“I bought coffee for the next person in line when I put in my order at Starbucks.”  She explained how it felt to watch each person in line follow suit. “I stuck around just to watch it all happen.  What a great feeling to see what I had started and watch it just keep going and going”.

 

It wasn’t surprising to hear that she would do something like this. This action was perfectly aligned with her character and her priorities in life.  However, it gave me a thrill to watch her talk about it and see how much it had deeply affected her.

 

There is no denying that this time of year can be stressful.  The days are packed with more shopping, cooking, parties, and commitments than you can fathom.  However, in all the excitement, it’s easy to lose sight of what this time of year is truly all about— giving back.

 

In lieu of this, I have a couple suggestions as to how you can “give back” this year in ways that will really matter.

 

Let one or two people into your lane while you’re driving.

Everyone is in a hurry this time of year.  Roads are backed up with shopping traffic and people are very low on patience.  My suggestion to you is let one, two or if you’re feeling overly generous, three people in to your lane.  Give them a big smile and watch their reaction.

 

Take someone lonely out for coffee or tea.

This time of year is so hard on the elderly and the ill.  They feel isolated in their homes and they dread going out in the cold. Even if they drive, they won’t take the chance in this cold, rainy, snowy weather. Please note that I suggested taking them out somewhere instead of visiting them in their house.  I’m pretty positive that a change of scenery and a reason to get dressed up is the best medicine you can give them.  All they want is a little of your time.

 

Offer to walk someone’s dog.

I take my dog for a walk every single day. If you only knew how much I dread doing this on those bitter cold days!  I would be overjoyed if someone in my neighborhood knocked on my door and said they wanted to walk my dog. It’s a good deed for the owner and the dog appreciates it too!

 

Take someone’s newspaper or mail to the door and hand it to them with a smile.

Now you’ll find out the second thing I dread— going out in the morning to get my newspaper.  What a good deed to get someone’s mail or newspaper and take it directly to their door! It’s just a kind gesture that goes a long way.

 

Send someone a handwritten note and let him or her know that you’re thinking about them.

Sadly, I receive very few handwritten notes anymore.  When I do receive one, it really makes me take notice. Imagine, someone taking the time and energy to send a note in snail mail! I’m not talking about sending a Christmas card— I’m referring to a blank note with your own thoughts and feelings inside.

 

Offer to watch someone’s child so they can get some shopping done.

This only counts if it’s your idea. You can’t wait for them to ask YOU.  I guarantee, this one would be much appreciated.

 

Stop and ask a clerk working in a busy store how they’re doing.

I’m not referring to the typical niceties. I’m suggesting you stop, look into their eyes, and ask them how they’re truly doing. You’ll be surprised how much they will appreciate this gesture.

 

Giving back doesn’t always have to mean you need to open up your pocketbook— all you have to do is open up your heart. There are plenty of ways to give back to people in need.  You’ll end up gaining more than you ever thought possible.

 

 

 

 

 

Knowing When to Fold

I was listening to a friend talk about her career the other day.  She told me that she was content in her first job right out of college when she decided to make the leap to a new position.  Within the first two weeks, she knew that she had made a huge mistake in this move.  Despite this realization, she stayed for another 4 years at this company. Why did she stay? She told herself that she needed to persevere and keep trying harder.

 

If you want to be a success in life, you need to try harder. You need to be inspired to push more.  You need to hold on tighter and never let go.  Just keep pushing yourself and keep trudging forward in your goal. I’ve read countless books, articles, and motivational sites that push this concept.

 

Is this truly the answer to finding success?

 

Not always.  Sometimes the right thing to do is to fold your cards and reassess your place in life. Take a step back and get in touch with your honest self.  As for my friend, she realizes now that she was trying to make something work that was never going to work.  She felt that quitting after one workweek showed weakness and that the strong thing to do, the right thing to do, was to persevere.

 

This really resonated with me.  I’m the queen of motivation and pushing forward in life.  That’s wonderful in most situations, but I can think of a few instances where it didn’t quite benefit me.  For example, there was the time I stayed at a certain job that was so incredibly wrong for me that it was obvious to everyone but me.  I fought the urge daily, thinking that it actually made me a stronger person to fight this urge.  I believed that I would persevere and rise above as the winner.

 

I didn’t. It was a romantic thought but definitely not based in reality. I wasn’t listening to my honest self. If I had listened to my honest self, it would have been screaming back at me to “exit as quickly as possible”.

 

This doesn’t only happen in your career. This happens in your friendships. At some point in your life, you will hold on to a friendship that is way past its expiration date.  At some point, you will realize that the friendship is imbalanced and not functioning well. Despite this fact, you will try harder and harder to make it work. You will take on more responsibility than you should and try desperately to breathe life into something that needs to be let go.  You will convince yourself that the right thing to do is to try harder, because that’s what strong people do. That’s what motivated, successful people do.

 

You’re wrong.

 

I don’t even want to get into intimate relationships.  I’m sure that you’ve had the experience where you’re working much harder than your significant other to build the relationship. You probably convinced yourself that it’s the honorable, right thing to do.  It shows strength and reveals your character.

 

You might be wrong again.

 

What I’m trying to say is that having perseverance is a respectable trait. Being strong and refusing to back down to your competition is admirable. However, there are going to be certain times in your life that it really doesn’t apply.  It calls for you to stop battling and take a step back.  Dig down deep inside and check in with YOU. Maybe the best thing for you to do is cut your losses and move on.

 

Sometimes it shows even more strength and success if you just walk away.

 

 

Enjoying the Holidays

The holiday season is a time of gratitude and thanks. We look forward to the celebration, bringing our families together and enjoying the quality time. We spend hours getting ready for the festivities and preparing for the feast. We envision how fabulous our time will be with our families and friends. In our heads, we play out how each minute will pass, how the food will be appreciated and how the love will be shared.

 

If you spend any time on the Internet, you can view the great photos of family and friends enjoying their time together. The food is beautifully displayed to perfection and each family member is having a wonderful time. However, things aren’t always what we imagine them to be.

 

I’m sorry to say that reality is often very different than our expectations. Our expectations lead to disappointment as we watch how things can turn out differently than we anticipated.  You would think after we reach a certain age, we would stop doing this to ourselves. However, life doesn’t work that way.  Again and again, we may be setting ourselves up to be more disappointed.

 

How can we stop this vicious cycle? Maybe I can suggest a couple mind shifts you need to make to enjoy this time a bit more.

 

Stop expecting people to be what you want, not who they actually are.

We all have a family member or friend that continuously disappoints us. They irritate us with their choices in life and let us down in their behavior.  Common sense would tell us that that after all this time, we would accept this and be prepared for what unfolds. But often we do the opposite. We may be setting ourselves up by expecting this individual to be more than they can possibly be.  Holidays are not going to change their behavior. They are not going to suddenly appreciate, change, or have any realizations just because of the time of year.  Accept who they are once and for all and stop expecting a different outcome.

 

Don’t focus so much on the details and miss the point of this time of year.

I appreciate a perfect ornamented table, a gourmet dinner, and everything that goes with it as much as the next person.  However, I’m aware that sometimes we can tie ourselves up with the details and lose our focus in life. Even I sometimes do it.  I, myself, have become obsessed with trying to find the perfect runner in the exact shade for the dining room table. This will become my quest and I will spend day and night searching for the only thing that will do. It’s a crazy waste of my time because in the end, no one but me even notices. Step back and take a good look at what truly matters in the whole scheme of things.

 

Whether you enjoy this time is completely up to you.  You are in control of your emotions during this time of year, whether you want to believe this or not. Take responsibility and make a decision to treat this year differently.

Feeling the Pain

Are you happy? No— I mean really, really happy? Well, I certainly hope so. If not, all is not lost.  There are numerous books that can school you on the subject.

 

I was speaking with a friend on the phone the other day.  She’s going through a very hard time right now.  I’m sure you’ve been there at some point— everything that can go wrong in life, somehow goes wrong all at once. She’s struggling with major personal, professional and physical setbacks.  It seems so unfair and I can sense that it’s very overwhelming. Heck, it certainly would be for me.

 

As she shared her story, l listened to her describe her feelings surrounding the experience.  And then she said it— I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I know that I’m supposed to be enjoying the journey but I’m really having difficulty doing that”.

 

I interrupted her and made her repeat that statement. She expounded on her thought and explained that someone should find the good and enjoyment in every situation— no matter what that situation is.

 

“Why do you feel that you have to enjoy the journey?” She thought that this is what you’re supposed to be able to do. I’m wondering if she read it on a Facebook post.

 

In the age of positive affirmation, positive motivation and positive whatever, I want everyone to get clear on this fact: sometimes you have to hurt. Sometimes you need to feel pain, discomfort and sadness.

 

It is okay to be emotionally hurting. It’s normal to be angry, sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, and discouraged.  Maybe, when you get over the turmoil, you can appreciate what you’ve learned from the situation. Once you get to the other side, you can revisit what you went through, make sense of it and learn from it. However, when you’re going through the experience, you are hurting and trudging through mud, just trying to survive.  You’re making it through, day-to-day, and that’s okay. That’s good enough.

 

As a society, why are we so scared of hurting?  Why do we convince others and ourselves that we must be happy 100% of the time? Walk through a bookstore and you’ll see shelves and shelves of books that promote this concept.  Google “Happiness” and you’ll see thousands of “Happiness Masters” that are itching to show you how to be happy— for a price. Everywhere you look, someone is trying to convince you that being very, very happy is what you should want.

 

Not only should you want this for you, but also you should want this for your children!  Hence, the parents that are terrified of their children hurting and experiencing the normal trials and tribulations of life.  All because somewhere, in the American culture, we’ve decided that protecting ourselves and our loved ones from hurt and pain is more important than anything.

 

There are times in your life when you aren’t happy.  In fact, it’s this unhappiness that spurs you on to make changes and recreate your life.  It’s these low moments that help you understand who and what’s truly important to you. It’s the moments of incredible pain that allow us to enjoy the moments of incredible pleasure.

 

Those times in life when you’re just scraping by define your life.  They build resilience and give you a foundation of confidence for the future propecia australia.  When you’ve been miserable and walked through to the other side, you realize your capacity for strength and resilience.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I do want you to be happy.  I just want you to get comfortable with the other parts of life too.  Don’t aspire to something that isn’t realistic or healthy. Be honest in your feelings and move on, letting the others in your life do the same.

The Illogical

“Deep in the human unconscious, is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense.  But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.”

Frank Herbert

 

The day started the same as any other Saturday.  I slept in, had a leisurely breakfast and made it to the gym by 8:45.  Per our usual routine, my husband and I went out for lunch, ending up at House of Pancakes.  The waitress brought us our omelets and my husband’s soda with ice. I became intensely involved in the process of eating.

 

And then it happened.  I was startled out of my focused concentration by a loud crash.  My first thought in my head was that I had clumsily hit over a glass on the table.  “Did I just do that?” I said out loud.  My husband replied no and I began to survey the situation.  My brain had difficulty processing what I saw.

 

There, sitting on the edge of the table was a half of a glass.  It had been split perfectly long ways and only one half was still on the table.  There were ice cubes still sitting in the half of glass. This detail led me to search for the other half.  Not finding it on the table, I looked down at the floor.  There, sitting upright, with ice cubes spilling out, was the other half of the glass, still in one piece.  I stared at it for a while and then looked up at my husband.  “Did anyone touch that?” I said out loud. Again he replied no.  Confused, I looked around me, searching for the answer. The people behind me were standing and staring at the table and then at the floor where the other half lie. Their eyes eventually came back to us confused. The man said laughing, “what were you thinking about?” as if my thoughts had shattered the glass.

 

Eventually, every table around me was staring at our table, and then staring at the ground.  There eyes wide, they just surveyed the situation with a confused look.

 

The waitress and a busboy came over to clean up. “I’ve worked here a long time, and I’ve never seen anything like that. It just split perfectly in two pieces.” I reiterated again that no one had touched the glass. The waitress laughed and commented that maybe they had ghosts in the restaurant. Yes, I thought, maybe it was my mom sending me a message. Being a pragmatic person, that wasn’t the first thing that came to my mind. However, I was frantically searching for any reason that the strange incident had occurred. Frankly, I was coming up short-way short.

 

A couple hours passed and I went up to my office to do some work.  I glanced down at my calendar and noticed the date for today.  And then it dawned on me; it was my Mother’s birthday.  My mind immediately went to the glass and then I shook it off.  Again, my logical thinking refused to accept such illogical thinking.

 

I called my son later that day and told him the story of the glass. I stated that there was no logical explanation for the situation. Not even knowing it was my mom’s birthday, he blurted out, “Maybe it was grandma sending a message.” It shocked me to hear him suggest that.

 

We all have an intense need to make sense of our world.  This gives us a sense of security and comfort in a sometimes-unpredictable universe. However, there’re times that they’re no clear-cut answers.  There’s no logical explanation. And that’s O.K.

 

I choose to take comfort in the illogical.

 

“The appearance of things change according to the emotions; and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.”

Face your Fears

Recently, I used a magic wand in a speaking presentation.  It happens to be one of my favorite props for a number of reasons.  Wouldn’t it be fabulous if all we needed to do was raise our magic wand and poof— all our fears and challenges in life would just go away? In just one wave of a wand, you could have your perfect carefree life, devoid of all the distress and challenges. Many women I come across think that it’s just that easy.

 

When I was in grade school, I was deathly afraid of speaking in front of the class, which I’m sure is very hard to believe. However, this confession is true.  In fact, my fear was so real that I would actually be in terror from the day I was assigned the date of my presentation to the day I finally presented.  On a regular basis, I would work myself up into such a panic that I would get genuinely sick on my appointed day to speak.  My fear was all encompassing.

 

Now, I’m not sure from where this fear originated. I don’t recollect any traumatic experiences during a class presentation, I just remember being so incredibly scared that I couldn’t even function.  Throughout Junior High and High School, this same fear didn’t leave me. The thought of standing in front of everyone was just horrifying to me.  In each speaking experience, I went through the same dreaded feelings and the same apprehension beforehand.

 

When I went away to college, I made a decision. I wasn’t going to live my life hiding in fear any longer.  My mother had always taught me to face confrontation and problems head-on and that’s exactly what I intended to do.  You know why? Because the feeling I had when backing down to my fear was worst than the actual fear. The feelings I experienced while giving in to this challenge was hurting my self-esteem. I decided that taking a speech class was the best way to tackle the issue.

 

Something funny happened on the way to confronting my fear: I realized that I was a pretty good speaker.  Sure, the first week was dicey, but as time went on, I just got better and better. Each week, I gained a little more confidence and assurance in my presentation skills.  By the end of the class, I was actually enjoying myself.  My fear had vanished and as unbelievable as it sounds, there was excitement and enjoyment in its place.

 

Now, back to the magic wand. I’m sorry to say that there’s no quick fix to overcoming your fears. There’s no short cut to gaining courage and confidence in life.  I talk to plenty of women that want to believe they can put a band-aid on the problem and call it a day.  The truth is that your courage, confidence or “inner sass” grows with life experiences. It strengthens when you confront your demons and refuse to back down regardless of how anxious, uncomfortable and miserable you become during the process.

 

I don’t know what’s on your list of fears but I do know one thing for sure— not confronting your fear slowly chips away at your confidence and self-worth. You might not be conscious of this fact but it’s true.

 

My advice to you is to throw away the magic wand and do the hard work. Whatever you fear is probably way past it’s expiration date.