Roadblocks to Productivity

<a href="https://i2.wp.com/sharigoldsmith.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/images-roadblock.jpg" onclick="__gaTracker('send', 'event', 'outbound-article', 'https://i1.wp redirected here.com/sharigoldsmith.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/images-roadblock.jpg?resize=139%2C98′, ”);”>images roadblock

 

Feeling stressed, over stimulated, overworked and just plain tired? In today’s world, we all have numerous responsibilities and tasks that fill up our days. At times, it feels as if there aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything.

 

But maybe it’s not a time management problem.

 

Maybe the issue isn’t how many hours you have in a day to get all your responsibilities completed. Maybe the problem requires you to step back and get a new perspective on what’s REALLY blocking you from living a productive life.

 

You clutter your life with tasks and responsibilities that just aren’t important anymore. At one point, they were important to you. However, your life has evolved and over time, you’ve added new responsibilities that are more vital to your current life. However, you haven’t taken the time to let go of the old to make room for the new. It’s possible that you’re trying to accomplish a daily weekly list that is not relevant to your life NOW. Step back and take a fresh look at your life. Do each one of these tasks and responsibilities lead to your overall short-term and long-term goals? Maybe you need to do some purging and throw out what’s standing in the way of your goals.

 

You have trouble prioritizing and looking at things objectively.

Last week, I was having a conversation with my husband. He informed me that he had way too much to accomplish on his daily list. He had some extremely important paperwork and also had to pick up all the leaves in the yard. He was on his way out to clean up the yard, which I knew would take hours. I stopped him and asked how the leaves could possibly be as important as his required work. Yes, the leaves had to get done, but they could wait another week. The work was much more important. Sometimes, everything seems important in our heads and we have difficulty assessing what truly is priority for that particular day.

 

Being busy does not mean we are being productive.

There’s a big difference and in order to be truly successful at work, you need to be clear on the difference. You can fill your days with all kinds of activities that get you not even in close proximity to your life goals. Sure, it makes you feel good but it masks the truth. It doesn’t address the fact that without the right kind of activity you’re not going to succeed in your ultimate goal. You’re just fooling yourself into believing that you’re making progress. Be strategic in your daily, weekly tasks and monthly to-do lists.

 

We feel good about working non-stop but eventually, this backfires.

I know plenty of people that eat lunch at their desk so they can get more done at work. Smart, right? WRONG! Numerous studies have proven that it’s impossible to work at peak performance for long periods of time. Yes, you’re working, but you’re not working at full capacity. Sitting too long depletes your brain of oxygen and glucose. The good news is that a walk around the block or even through the building will reenergize you so you can be much more productive. Take breaks regularly that don’t involve your computer or phone.

 

We get lost in the hidden expectations and beliefs that we attach to our responsibilities.

Take a good look at your responsibilities and do a self-check. Are you holding on to any unrealistic or unhealthy expectations that you need to let go? For example, a belief that “I must join every committee and attend every event associated with my company in order to be successful” will eventually drive you crazy. Sure, it will make you busy, but does it truly lead to real success? Decide whether your expectations of self are fair and accurate.

 

With a few tweaks, you can live a successful, productive life.

 

 

Embracing Failures

image cake baked

 

My son requested a homemade birthday cake for his celebration this year. He wanted his special treat to be a yellow cake with chocolate frosting made by me. This request might not be a difficult one to most people— but to me, it was huge. I don’t enjoy baking. Frankly, it’s hard for me to understand why I should spend time baking a cake when I could be doing so many other interesting things.

 

It really isn’t that hard to follow a recipe on a box of cake mix. In spite of this, I managed to mix all the ingredients without including the needed water. This dawned on me when I went to pour the batter into the pans and the batter wouldn’t budge. Apparently, water is an essential ingredient in this recipe. I put the batter back in the bowl and added the water.

 

Thirty minutes later, I took a look in the oven and decided that the golden-brown cake layers were ready to take out and cool. I left to do a quick errand and figured I would ice the cake upon my return. With the cake cooled, I turned the pan over to release it. Nothing happened. I ran a knife around the edge and hit the bottom of the pan— still nothing happened. I tried the other pan with the same results. After much work, the cake came out in pieces.

 

Refusing to feel discouraged, I began to problem solve. Being my optimistic self, I decided to piece it back together with the frosting. My brilliant solution didn’t work. That’s just about the time when my husband walked in and stared at my masterpiece. I could tell it was hard for him to keep a straight face.

 

Now, if you’re wondering if it was as bad as I’m making it out to be, take a look at the included picture of my cake. It was truly, truly bad and my attempt to bake this birthday cake was an epic fail.

 

I should be good at this type of thing. I should be able to bake a cake for my son. I should be talented enough to follow an easy box cake recipe. All of the “shoulds” flowed through my mind as I stared at my cake. All the “shoulds” just made me feel worse about the situation.

 

Like you, I enjoy succeeding in life. I have high expectations and I work daily to develop my talents. This experience didn’t fit in with my view of self. This experience made me feel really bad. I searched for the reason that I failed so miserably.

 

And then, I began to think about the situation objectively. It’s hard to go through life without failing miserably now and then. Bad things will happen— much bigger things than my disastrous cake. Eventually, it will happen in your career, your relationships and every facet of your life, no matter how hard you work. You will give your best effort and still, things will not turn out as you expected. It will be disappointing and disheartening, but where you go from there is what truly matters.

 

Letting go of the “shoulds” and allowing your self the freedom to mess up now and then is key. Keeping your eye on the horizon instead of over your shoulder is also important.

 

Accept that the experience of failure is just another part of your life journey. The ability to be resilient and move on after failure is what truly matters.

 

 

Open to Opportunity

images open window

 

Last week, I was attending a full-day seminar with an old friend that I hadn’t seen in quite awhile. Although I was unsure if the topic would hold my interest, I knew that I would pick up some “nuggets” that I could use in my life. I also looked forward to the training event since I thought I would see some of my old co-workers. As I scanned the room, I realized that I didn’t know a single person other than my old friend. The large room was filled with mostly empty tables and almost all of the attendees were crammed into the back half of the space.

 

We registered and walked to a table at the front of the room since we both decided that we would be easily distracted in the back. When I sat down, I noticed two women that were sitting together at the table behind me.

 

10 minutes into the seminar, the trainer started the first activity. She asked us to find a partner that we weren’t seated with and perform the first exercise. My friend jumped up and joined a woman sitting alone at a table. I turned around, stood up with a smile on my face and said to the two friends sitting together, “Would one of you like to join me at my table?”

 

They both stared at me and said, “NO”.

 

I turned back around, shocked by the tone in their voice and their firm NO response.

 

I didn’t personalize this NO that I received. I wasn’t hurt that they didn’t want to be with me. I instinctively knew that the NO had absolutely nothing to do with me. I knew that the NO had everything to do with them.

 

I was disappointed by the women’s inability to open themselves up to a new opportunity.

 

Now, you might be wondering why I’m making such a big deal out of this. So what, they wanted to sit together and enjoy each other’s company. However, it IS a big deal and I’m going to tell you why.

 

Everyday, you are bombarded with situations, problems and issues in your life. Most of the time, you handle situations in a manner that is familiar to you. You have found patterns in your life that work for you and it is easier if you stick to those patterns and habits. When you do this, you probably make life easier for you in the short-term. You feel safe in these patterns and find comfort in them.

 

However, you are making life harder for you in the long-term. Moving to another table and meeting someone new might seem like such a small thing. However, it might be a pattern in your life to avoid uncomfortable situations. Each time that you get the courage to move to the next table, you build a little more muscle that makes you more RESILIENT. Each time you do something uncomfortable, you develop a little more grit to tackle what gets thrown at you in life. Each time you stretch yourself personally and professionally, you open yourself up to new opportunities—some that you didn’t even know existed.

 

Building resilience all starts with one small move.

 

 

 

Resilience

imagesstressI have a weekly ritual that I haven’t changed for 15 years. I make out my grocery list Sunday morning and do my shopping later that day. I never deviate from going to my favorite store that always has everything I need. One of the reasons that I’ve stuck with this store is because I know that checking out is consistently fast.

 

Anyway, one week, while I was checking out, I noticed this woman working two lanes down. She was ringing people up and talking to them the whole time. There was an energy about her that made her special. She didn’t take the smile off her face and she ended the experience by singing a little song. Not only did the customers seem happy by the time they left but it was apparent that the other workers loved her too.

 

Four days ago, I needed to run into the store to pick up a few things for dinner. When I came to the checkout lanes, I scanned to see if my favorite worker was there. I spotted her working two lanes down, doing her job with a smile on her face. I proceeded to get in the lane and wait for my experience. However, the person ahead of me was having some difficulty with her order. Many of the cashiers crowded around to try to help as the situation turned into a long process. I questioned whether I should pick up all my groceries on the belt and move them to another lane, but I didn’t want to lose my chance to spend time with my favorite cashier.

 

The whole snafu probably took 10 extra minutes but it felt like much longer. I watched my favorite cashier keep her composure and handle the situation. I realized that at times, I was feeling frustrated but I reminded myself to have a little patience and let the feeling pass.

 

When it was my turn to be rung up, she brightly greeted me and started a conversation. As we continued to talk, she thanked me for having so much patience. She shared that she really had to work on her attitude while attending to the previous customer. I admitted that I also had to focus on keeping calm and not getting frustrated. The exchange ended with us laughing a bit and she eventually pulled at my hand, encouraging me to join her in song about her store. I walked out in a really great mood.

 

When I was driving home, I gave thought to the whole experience. Being a cashier at a grocery store was probably not this woman’s dream career. However, I’ve never met anyone that seemed to have such a great time at work. I believe her comment about working on her attitude had much to do with it. She wanted to enjoy life and live in the moment. She was capable of finding a way to ride the waves and look on the bright side, even when things didn’t go her way. She was aware of her thoughts and feelings and how that translated into her behavior.

 

It was obvious that she made the best of life even when it wasn’t perfect. This resilient woman CHOSE to live a vibrant, happy life. The effect on others was incredible.

 

I hope that I get to see her the next time I go shopping.

 

 

What’s Important

images life waterA friend recently connected me with a woman that was in town to film a documentary. The film team asked me if I was willing to be interviewed the very next day.  Since it fit into my calendar, I said yes and didn’t give it much more thought.

 

We had all made our introductions when I finally got around to inquiring of the documentary topic.  I just assumed that I had been singled out to discuss women and leadership. I was mentally prepared to discuss the challenges that women face today in the workplace. However, I was way off base. Ashley was a Child Psychologist at the University of Hawaii and taught a class on culture across lifespans.  As the interview started, she informed me that I didn’t have to answer any question if I felt uncomfortable.  I smiled and said that I was an open book and didn’t mind talking.

 

We talked for about an hour and she didn’t leave many stones unturned.  She was curious about the transitions in my life and how it led me to where I am today. We discussed careers and kids and my view on how to manage work/life balance.  She wanted to know about each of my children and how and why they were different. She was very curious about my 33-year marriage and what I believed was the secret to staying married such a long time.

 

Since this interview was truly about culture, we spent some time discussing my childhood and how I raised my own children.  Before I knew it, an hour had passed and our time was over. The event had truly been a wonderful experience.

 

As I walked out, I gave thought to why I had enjoyed myself so much.  I realized that it had given me the opportunity to take a good look at my life.  It enabled me to objectively talk about my children, my husband, and my career and make the realization that I had a lot to be grateful for in life. The pointed questions that she asked had encouraged me to talk about many things that don’t usually come up in conversation. It was a good feeling to reminisce.

 

The whole experience made me consider that we spend too many days focusing on what’s wrong in our life and not enough on what’s going right.  We can become obsessed with the people that disappoint us, or the things that we wish would be different. We lust for the things that we don’t possess or worry about things that, chances are, won’t happen.  In our minds, we assume that if we had this different life, then everything would be better. Then, we would have the life that we always wanted.

 

The interview actually made me realize my contentment.  No— things aren’t perfect. My back still hurts and I still have this annoying sinus problem that won’t go away.  However, things could be much worse, so I work around the stuff that’s not perfect.  The point is that I’m very clear on what’s important in my life. I refuse to waste time on the things that truly don’t matter.

 

What’s Important

images life waterA friend recently connected me with a woman that was in town to film a documentary. The film team asked me if I was willing to be interviewed the very next day.  Since it fit into my calendar, I said yes and didn’t give it much more thought.

 

We had all made our introductions when I finally got around to inquiring of the documentary topic.  I just assumed that I had been singled out to discuss women and leadership. I was mentally prepared to discuss the challenges that women face today in the workplace. However, I was way off base. Ashley was a Child Psychologist at the University of Hawaii and taught a class on culture across lifespans.  As the interview started, she informed me that I didn’t have to answer any question if I felt uncomfortable.  I smiled and said that I was an open book and didn’t mind talking.

 

We talked for about an hour and she didn’t leave many stones unturned.  She was curious about the transitions in my life and how it led me to where I am today. We discussed careers and kids and my view on how to manage work/life balance.  She wanted to know about each of my children and how and why they were different. She was very curious about my 33-year marriage and what I believed was the secret to staying married such a long time.

 

Since this interview was truly about culture, we spent some time discussing my childhood and how I raised my own children.  Before I knew it, an hour had passed and our time was over. The event had truly been a wonderful experience.

 

As I walked out, I gave thought to why I had enjoyed myself so much.  I realized that it had given me the opportunity to take a good look at my life.  It enabled me to objectively talk about my children, my husband, and my career and make the realization that I had a lot to be grateful for in life. The pointed questions that she asked had encouraged me to talk about many things that don’t usually come up in conversation. It was a good feeling to reminisce.

 

The whole experience made me consider that we spend too many days focusing on what’s wrong in our life and not enough on what’s going right.  We can become obsessed with the people that disappoint us, or the things that we wish would be different. We lust for the things that we don’t possess or worry about things that, chances are, won’t happen.  In our minds, we assume that if we had this different life, then everything would be better. Then, we would have the life that we always wanted.

 

The interview actually made me realize my contentment.  No— things aren’t perfect. My back still hurts and I still have this annoying sinus problem that won’t go away.  However, things could be much worse, so I work around the stuff that’s not perfect.  The point is that I’m very clear on what’s important in my life. I refuse to waste time on the things that truly don’t matter.

 

What Truly Matters

image mountain molehillsMy husband and I recently drove up to Chicago for the 4th of July weekend. We took our bikes with us so we could go for rides on trails throughout the city.

 

We had also mapped out where we were going to eat for all three dinners.  The first night would be at one of our favorite seafood houses that we frequent every year. My husband had received a coupon that gave us $25.00 off, which made the restaurant even more appealing. As we began to order, my husband realized that he had forgotten the coupon back in Cincinnati.

 

It seemed ridiculous to not take advantage of this opportunity, so we brainstormed on how to solve the problem.  Finally, he remembered that his ipad was back at the hotel and he could access the coupon from there.  We decided that he would walk back to the hotel, which was only a few minutes away.

 

Left alone with my glass of wine, I retrieved my phone and became engrossed in email and the internet for a while. With the dining tables situated so close together and nothing of extreme importance to distract me, it was difficult not to overhear the very loud conversation next to me. A couple had ordered drinks from the bar and was not happy with them.

 

After a closer listen, I realized that they were unhappy because the drinks were served in glassware that was very different from what they had anticipated.  The taste of the drink was fine, yet they felt that their specialty margarita drink should come in the conventional glass used in other restaurants. Finally, they called the manager over to complain.

 

The manager politely told them that the glass in which they had received their drink was their traditional glass for that restaurant. They didn’t even have any other glasses to use for a drink.  He went on to explain that the glasses utilized for all drinks fit the style and era of the restaurant. He offered to supply them with a different drink that might make them happy but they declined and continued to dispute the glass dilemma.

 

Remember, they had no issue with the taste of the drink.  They were unhappy with the glass.  They were stuck on this minor issue for a long, long time.

 

From my perspective, they took a perfectly wonderful dinner and found a way to put a damper on it.  In the grand scheme of things, the glass that your drink is served in is probably not a big deal.  However, these two were able to get a lot of mileage out of this one snag in their evening.  This led me to ponder how they would be able to handle an elephant-sized problem in their life.

 

Resiliency, happiness and health always come down to a few key things: being able to adapt and roll with the punches and having a keen sense of when it’s worthwhile to invest your energy in a situation or just let it go. This was one of those times where it was a complete waste of their energy and emotion.

 

Are you guilty of this same kind of behavior every now and then?  If so, you might want to contemplate whether some changes are in order.

 

Every day, each moment that we are given in life is a gift.  It’s time that we treat it as such.

Eliminating Stress

imagesstress

 

Is anyone out there feeling some stress today?  I’ll make an educated guess that most of you are feeling some level of stress.  It has become the norm in our everyday lives. However, you don’t have to live your life this way.  There are strategies that you can utilize and decisions that you can make to lower or eliminate the stress that you feel on a daily basis.  Here are some tactics that might help you lower your level of stress and enable you to enjoy your life more.

 

Get an objective view of the situation

I understand that you lead a busy life. You have a lot of different responsibilities on your daily priority list.  However, you can become so overwhelmed with your commitments and responsibilities and so hyper focused on your own experience that you can no longer see things clearly. In order for you to get a more realistic view of your life, ask yourself the following questions:

 

1. What impact would this have on my life or others if I don’t follow through with this responsibility?

 

2.  Is the impact worth my level of stress and anxiety?

 

By asking these questions, you could force yourself to see that it isn’t the end of the world if you drop this commitment.  It’s so easy to get lost in the endless loop of stress or anxiety that you can lose sight of whether it even truly matters.

 

Watch your extreme thinking when you start getting stressed

Think about someone you would deem as stressed or anxious.  Chances are they talk in extremes and their extreme thinking fuels their anxiety.  They pepper their communication with words like  “have to”, “always”, “never”, “must” and “should”. They speak in hyperbole, setting themselves up for more stress. This communication style is simply fuel to the fire.  The running dialogue is always swirling in their head, and it’s the perfect storm for a life filled with stress and anxiety. Until they address what they’re telling themselves and make an effort to manage it, the stress and anxiety will only get worse. We all fall into this pattern now and then, so make an effort to acknowledge it and take action.

 

 

Stay away from stressful people

Do you know any people in your life that are stress mongers? These are the ones that just resonate with anxiety.  Every time you’re around them, stress just seeps out of their pores. The problem is that it usually then seeps into your pores.  Their goal is for you to understand the level of stress that they are feeling.  However, what actually happens is that they successfully transfer that stress to you.  Often, you leave the conversation feeling stressed and anxious while they go on to their next victim. I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that they probably don’t follow through on any advice you give them.  My suggestion to you is to minimize your time with these individuals.  If it’s impossible, just don’t engage in the anxiety talk and change the subject in the conversation.

 

Steve Maraboli said the following,

 

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health.  Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”

 

 

Please keep this in mind the next time you’re tempted to fall into this unhealthy pattern.

 

Risky Business

images riskAt 4:00 AM, I woke up to the sound of heavy rain hitting the roof.  It was a raging downpour. I sat up for a moment and said to my husband, “It’s raining hard.” The alarm was set to go off at 4:30 so we could make it downtown for Ride Cincinnati—

a bike ride to raise funds for Breast Cancer Research. We had plans to ride 63 miles, but didn’t want to ride in the rain.

 

The next time that I woke up was 7:00 AM. I couldn’t figure out how I had slept in. I discovered that my husband had turned off the alarm when he heard me say that it was raining. He had assumed that it would rain all morning and he didn’t want to take a chance in the ride. I was willing to take that risk, but it was too late for that.

 

Disappointed in the turn of events, I suggested that we go out for our own ride. I checked the weather for the morning and the forecast predicted that there was a 0% chance of rain, continuing into the afternoon. When we left the house, the sun was actually out.  That didn’t last long as we biked further and further out.  I trusted the forecast, so we continued on our ride until I began to feel the sprinkles on my helmet.  “It will pass,” I said, trying to convince myself.  It didn’t pass— the sprinkles turned into a steady rain.

 

At first, it really didn’t bother me until the steady rain turned into a much heavier, cold rain. We stopped under a bridge and waited, hoping that the rain would let up.  It didn’t. Finally, we decided to just ride the two miles to the restaurant and eat lunch.  As soon as we got there, the rain stopped and the sun came out.  With my clothes dried and my stomach full, I felt much, much better.

 

The moment we got on our bikes after lunch, the sun went in.  We were 10 minutes into our ride back home when it began to rain again.  Yes, even with a 0% chance, the rain became steady, miserable and cold. I was unhappy, soaked to the skin and freezing cold. And then it happened.

 

My husband asked me to look at his tire because it felt “strange” to him.  I said that I was sure it was nothing— wishful thinking.  He stopped and assessed his bike tire, which was flat.  On cue, the sky opened up with a torrential downpour.  I accepted the fact that there was nowhere to take cover on the bike trail. There I was, trying to read him instructions on my phone while attempting to keep the device dry in the pouring-down rain. My hands were numb from the cold and my clothing was soaked. Fun was not being had by either one of us.

 

Now, here’s the irony of the whole situation: I found out that it never rained during the morning event. If we had taken part in this, we would have enjoyed beautiful weather. However, we made our decision because we didn’t want to take the risk.

 

Risk.  Everyday, you make decisions while weighing your risks buy generic propecia.  Often, this measure of risk holds you back from experiences that you would enjoy and benefit from in life. Sometimes, the risk appears much bigger in your head than it is in reality.

I’m not saying to ignore the risk, but be sure to take some chances. Don’t allow yourself to miss out on life.

Risky Business

images riskAt 4:00 AM, I woke up to the sound of heavy rain hitting the roof.  It was a raging downpour. I sat up for a moment and said to my husband, “It’s raining hard.” The alarm was set to go off at 4:30 so we could make it downtown for Ride Cincinnati—

a bike ride to raise funds for Breast Cancer Research. We had plans to ride 63 miles, but didn’t want to ride in the rain.

 

The next time that I woke up was 7:00 AM. I couldn’t figure out how I had slept in. I discovered that my husband had turned off the alarm when he heard me say that it was raining. He had assumed that it would rain all morning and he didn’t want to take a chance in the ride. I was willing to take that risk, but it was too late for that.

 

Disappointed in the turn of events, I suggested that we go out for our own ride. I checked the weather for the morning and the forecast predicted that there was a 0% chance of rain, continuing into the afternoon. When we left the house, the sun was actually out.  That didn’t last long as we biked further and further out.  I trusted the forecast, so we continued on our ride until I began to feel the sprinkles on my helmet.  “It will pass,” I said, trying to convince myself.  It didn’t pass— the sprinkles turned into a steady rain.

 

At first, it really didn’t bother me until the steady rain turned into a much heavier, cold rain. We stopped under a bridge and waited, hoping that the rain would let up.  It didn’t. Finally, we decided to just ride the two miles to the restaurant and eat lunch.  As soon as we got there, the rain stopped and the sun came out.  With my clothes dried and my stomach full, I felt much, much better.

 

The moment we got on our bikes after lunch, the sun went in.  We were 10 minutes into our ride back home when it began to rain again.  Yes, even with a 0% chance, the rain became steady, miserable and cold. I was unhappy, soaked to the skin and freezing cold. And then it happened.

 

My husband asked me to look at his tire because it felt “strange” to him.  I said that I was sure it was nothing— wishful thinking.  He stopped and assessed his bike tire, which was flat.  On cue, the sky opened up with a torrential downpour.  I accepted the fact that there was nowhere to take cover on the bike trail. There I was, trying to read him instructions on my phone while attempting to keep the device dry in the pouring-down rain. My hands were numb from the cold and my clothing was soaked. Fun was not being had by either one of us.

 

Now, here’s the irony of the whole situation: I found out that it never rained during the morning event. If we had taken part in this, we would have enjoyed beautiful weather. However, we made our decision because we didn’t want to take the risk.

 

Risk.  Everyday, you make decisions while weighing your risks buy generic propecia.  Often, this measure of risk holds you back from experiences that you would enjoy and benefit from in life. Sometimes, the risk appears much bigger in your head than it is in reality.

I’m not saying to ignore the risk, but be sure to take some chances. Don’t allow yourself to miss out on life.