Technology: Blessing or Stress?

technology head

 

As you probably know from reading past blogs, long distance bike riding is one of my favorite things to do in the summer. My husband and I go on 50-mile trips every weekend. A few months ago, he purchased a new and improved bike. He felt that the difference in the ride was incredible.

 

Would anyone like to guess what I received for my birthday a few months ago?  That’s right, a new and improved bike. He wanted me to be able to keep up with him on our long bike rides and felt that this bike would make all the difference. He also purchased a Garmin device that could constantly monitor my speed, heart rate, calorie burn and a multitude of other things.  This monitor system is attached to my bike so I can view my progress at all times.

 

After the first trip on my bike, I commented to my husband that I didn’t feel like I usually do after a ride.  He looked at me, confused. Usually after a ride, I feel accomplished and relaxed with my brain rested and rejuvenated.  I just didn’t feel this way. I chalked it up to being hyper alert on my new bike.  I decided I wasn’t totally comfortable yet and that I needed time.

 

By the second trip, I was definitely getting used to my bike and comfortable with the new gears.  However, during and after the ride, I felt the same feelings as before. Where were my feelings of accomplishment and rejuvenation?

 

I decided that I needed to figure out what had changed in the experience. The ride had gone from pure enjoyment to something more akin to work.  I thought back to the rides I took last year.  Some of my best writing ideas came to me on my rides. The most ingenious ideas for my speaking presentations seemed to arrive out of thin air. I created fabulous plans for my business on my biking trips.  There was something about the exercise, coupled with the natural landscape— it was the perfect recipe for problem solving and idea creation.

 

Instead of creating, my brain was constantly busy monitoring the Garmin.  I was tracking my progress second by second— was I going too slow, was I going the right pace?  I was obsessed with watching the change of speed and the slow creeping of the distance. I no longer noticed the trees and plants or the wildlife that I encountered along the trail. I spent the whole 4 hours staring at the ever-changing screen instead of taking in the sights and smells.  This constant monitoring was destroying my experience. This constant monitoring made me stressed.

 

I had lost my favorite part of the whole experience— being mindful and present.  I had lost the ability to just let go.

 

Technology certainly plays an important part in today’s society.  I’d be lost without my computer, phone, iPad etc.  However, sometimes it can hold us back from being at our best and living in the now. We need to make a point of disconnecting and being in the present.

Find Your Strengths

When I was in college and working on my undergraduate degree, each day was like swimming upstream. I had a lot of anxiety surrounding my studying and test taking. This anxiety came with good reason— I wasn’t very good at it.  The information went in my brain and then quickly left.  When I finally did take a test, I often felt that the questions on the test looked foreign compared to the information I had pored over for hours.

 

If a good portion of it was essay, I would be relieved and my anxiety would decrease considerably.  I knew that I could somehow articulate to the professor my level of knowledge on the subject. I didn’t realize until later why this was so much easier for me. One of my strengths was communication (Imagine that). For many years, I viewed these weaknesses in my learning as deficits in my intellect.  I actually bought into the myth that I simply wasn’t as smart as other people. I also bought into the idea that if only I tried hard enough, I could turn my weaknesses into strengths.

 

This idea that I could improve drastically in my area of weakness was ingrained in me from an early age. There is this notion that if you work hard enough and care enough, you too can become a superstar in any arena. Think about it, when you were going through school, did your parents pay more attention to your A’s, or was the focus on your one C? Did you believe that you weren’t trying hard enough and with the right amount of investment, your C could easily be an A?

 

Chances are, the course where you received a C for your efforts was not in an area where your natural talent lied.  The truth is that you have the ability to grow the most in the areas of your strengths. When you take your talent and couple that with practiced skills and knowledge, you have the recipe for off the chart success. Therefore, it makes more sense to invest your energy into areas where you can show the most growth, rather than focusing hours and hours on your areas of weakness. On a side note, there are some weak areas where you still need to be somewhat proficient in life. For example, not being strong in math doesn’t mean you can totally ignore your personal finances. You still need basic skills to get by in the world.

 

Since I have a little bit more knowledge and wisdom than I did when I was 20, I no longer waste my time attempting to become proficient in certain areas that I know aren’t my strengths.  I’m never going to be an excellent painter and you won’t find me scrapbooking anytime soon.  In fact, if you ever saw my artwork, you would chuckle. My skills are low level and I’m fairly certain that my abilities wouldn’t progress too far beyond average.  I’ve made peace with this, and I don’t spend much time thinking about it.

 

However, I have noticed that my writing gets better and better the more I write.  I continue to perfect my skills in coaching women the more I work with clients. I’ve realized that presenting to groups gets easier and my skills only keep getting better the more I practice.  These are all areas where my abilities soar since I have the natural talent.  These are the areas that make sense for me to invest my time and energy.

 

So how about you? Do you know your strengths and utilize them on a daily basis?  Do you spend too much time in your professional and personal life focusing on your weak areas instead of the areas where you can truly excel? If so, then you need to rethink your approach to life.  All you have to gain is success and happiness.

Living in the NOW!

This week, I had the exact same conversation with two different women who both had just returned from their summer vacations. I asked each one if they were rested and ready to get back to work and they gave me the very same answer, “I wish I had enjoyed my vacation more without feeling stressed and thinking too much about things.” I don’t know about your motive to go on vacation but mine is to enjoy myself and have fun. I want to be fully present in the moment of NOW!

 

Have you ever watched a group of children playing outside? They totally get the whole living in the moment concept! When I went for a walk last night, I became entranced watching these two little girls playing in the front of their house.  The one girl was wearing her pink shirt with matching flowered shorts and hot pink cowboy boots.  The other one had a head full of curls and a brightly colored dress on with neon Converse athletic shoes.  They ran and climbed with abandon, laughing and giggling as they played. Each was fully present, never planning what came next in their adventure together.

 

If only we could channel some of their mindfulness— their ability to be fully present and live each moment as it unfolds.  Their innate skill to enjoy so completely without giving thought to time or commitments. I believe each one of us can retrain our brains to live fully present in today.  Here are a few tips to help you live life in the moment.

 

Take part in an activity that reminds you of your childhood. You know, the activity that you feel is not appropriate for mature, responsible adults! A couple of years ago, I went on a trip to Florida to visit my sister.  The two of us spent the days lying out by the pool reading our books. Built into the middle of the pool was an extensive slide system that twisted and turned and ended up on a completely different side. I watched as all the kids took turns enjoying the ride, screaming the whole way.  There was no one over the age of 12 that attempted the slide.  Finally, I insisted to my sister that she go with me.  “I just washed my hair— you go if you want to go”.  After much pleading and begging, I pulled her from the chair and pushed her into the water.  To say she was irritated with me is an understatement.  Angry, she went down the slide with me, screaming the whole way.  She splashed in the water and said, “let’s go again”.  The whole time, she acted like she was doing me a favor but I knew better. She was having a blast and completely in the moment.

 

Make an effort to not be regretting the past, or worrying about the future-just live NOW. So many of us waste time ruminating about what has already transpired in life.  What a waste of time! You can’t change the past. Learn from it and move on. On the other hand, worrying about what could happen is a complete waste of your energy.  The most important piece to remember is this; while you’re worrying, regretting and fretting, you’re missing the opportunity to live completely now.  You’re missing out on what’s happening around you in the present and losing an opportunity to thoroughly enjoy your time today. The key to controlling this bad habit is to catch you while it is happening.  Call yourself out on this behavior and say out loud, “I choose to live my life NOW”.  It might not work the first or second time you try it, but slowly you will see a shift.  You will take notice of how much time you devote to this destructive behavior.

 

I don’t know about you, but I want to be the little girl with the flowered shorts and the hot pink cowboy boots. I want to enjoy life and find joy in every moment.  So if you see me wasting precious time worrying or fretting, please call me out on this. Let’s all live in the NOW.