Empowering Others

image empowermentI have a memory from my childhood that comes back in my consciousness every now and then. It’s bedtime and I’m going through my evening rituals.  I’m standing at the sink with my mother and it’s time to wash my face.  She has the washcloth in her hand and it’s all warm and soapy.  She’s ready to start cleaning my face when I grab it out of her hand.  I remember the strong feeling of wanting to be independent and be able to take care of myself.  However, my mom is impatient and not pleased with this action since she assumes that I won’t do it properly. She grabs the washcloth back from me so she can complete the task.

 

Isn’t it strange the way our brains work? When I’m together with my childhood friends, they tell me many stories and experiences that I just can’t recollect.  But this moment I remember vividly and I couldn’t have been more than 4 years old.  You know why?  Because of the way that moment made me feel.  I felt so helpless, out of control and frustrated.  I wanted to be independent and she wouldn’t let me. I recall feeling proud that I wanted to take care of myself.

 

I think that in a way, my mom wanted to make things easier for me than they had been for her.  Or maybe she wanted to be needed in her role as a mother. It’s possible that she was tired and she just wanted this task done so she could finally relax.  The point is that in the process, she squelched my ability to be independent and feel that I could stand on my own two feet.

 

When I had my own children, I wanted to take a different approach.  It was important for me to give my kids the tools they needed to feel confident and independent. I allowed my kids to make mistakes and color outside the lines. It meant that I was willing to step back when they made a mistake and allow them to work out their own issues.  It also meant that at times, my children felt discomfort and even pain, and I allowed them to feel their own pain. I’m not saying it was easy, but I knew in my heart it was for the best. I wanted them to be able to feel secure in their decision-making and their ability to steer their own course in life.

 

I mimicked this approach in the workplace.  I wanted to empower peers and my employees to confidently handle their own issues, and get comfortable with solving their own problems.  I felt that it was my job to give them the tools to be successful, independent and strong. Again, it was certainly not easy, and sometimes quite disheartening, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

 

You probably agree with everything that I’ve shared with you thus far. Your head is nodding and you absolutely see my point. However, I’m asking you to take an honest, raw look at your life right now.  It’s time to question whether you might have failed in your attempts to empower the people around you.

 

Maybe your enabling involves a relationship with a child. It’s easier and less stressful if you can take care of the task and be done.  Maybe it’s an employee relationship. You have repeatedly handled issues because you want to make sure it’s done properly and perfectly.  Maybe it’s a friend that consistently needs your assistance. Time and time again you help, because, to be honest, it just feels good to be needed.

 

I guarantee that you have at least one relationship that smacks of some enabling in your personal or professional life.  In the moment, the action might feel good to you and to them, but the long-term effects can be quite destructive.

 

Make it your mission to empower others to stand on their own two feet. Eventually, they’ll be glad you did.

 

Working Moms

 

Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant was recently on the news, sharing his views on education and working moms. In front of a large crowd, he quoted the following—

“Our country’s education problems began when mothers went into the workplace in large numbers.” As you can imagine, he received incredible backlash for that thought.  He later changed that statement to something a bit more palatable for the many dual career families in the audience.

 

There’s nothing new about the controversy surrounding moms working outside the home vs. moms working at home. In fact, when my own children were younger, I was surprised by the strong opinions on both sides of the fence. We’ve been having this battle about “what’s best for the kids” for a long time.  However, the battle we really need to pay attention to is the one going on in our own heads.

 

I coach very successful career-minded women that juggle numerous responsibilities. They feel tremendous pressure to succeed in their careers and in their personal life.  They are devoted to their families and every day is a struggle to make their lives run smoothly. My job involves helping them to identify their priorities in life and subsequently create a life that better reflects their priorities. That said, I’ve witnessed a mode of thinking that has become prevalent with successful career women— their need to not only succeed in their careers, but also be the absolute perfect parent.

 

So I guess the question becomes, what makes a perfect mother?  Is it creating a homemade dinner every night for your family? Is it baking daily for your family or making a handmade Halloween costume for your child every year?  Could it be getting your child involved in every extracurricular possible to ensure success in their life?  Maybe it’s volunteering weekly in each one of your child’s classes at school?

 

I hear a lot of this faulty thinking with successful women.  They struggle with guilt daily because of their inability to do everything they BELIEVE it takes to raise a successful child. Social Media just magnifies the guilt. On Pinterest, you can view the beautiful cakes that moms are making or the incredible craft projects. On Facebook, you can hear how a fellow mom’s child just received a 36 on her ACTS and another mom’s child just received a full scholarship to college. The pressure is on to show that you too can mold a child into a successful wonder.  But, how can you do everything, and is that even realistic? Something eventually has to give, and most of the time it’s the woman’s own needs that go unmet.

 

I have raised two sons while working outside the home.  Here’s what I know, having lived the experience as a Mental Health Therapist and a parent: Don’t get so lost that you can’t see the forest for the trees. Don’t lose sight of your true priorities.  You want to raise a successful, confident, independent child that has integrity? Then give them the tools to achieve this. Give them unconditional love, rules to feel safe and your QUALITY TIME.   When you’re with them, be present and listen. Make sure they feel that they can always come to you with a problem and you will help them think it through. Be a role model for your children and don’t be so stressed that you miss the opportunity to take advantage of those teachable moments.

 

Let go of the rest.

 

Let me be honest here— if I asked my kids what they remember from their childhood, they’re not going to mention the perfect meal, homemade cake, or the many hours I logged in their classroom. Those are great if you truly have the time to make it happen.  However, They WILL mention the time I went hiking with them or the time I listened to them when they were going through a crisis.

 

So all you working moms out there— get your priorities straight and stop listening to the inside chatter. Be present in the times that truly matter.

 

 

Working Moms

 

Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant was recently on the news, sharing his views on education and working moms. In front of a large crowd, he quoted the following—

“Our country’s education problems began when mothers went into the workplace in large numbers.” As you can imagine, he received incredible backlash for that thought.  He later changed that statement to something a bit more palatable for the many dual career families in the audience.

 

There’s nothing new about the controversy surrounding moms working outside the home vs. moms working at home. In fact, when my own children were younger, I was surprised by the strong opinions on both sides of the fence. We’ve been having this battle about “what’s best for the kids” for a long time.  However, the battle we really need to pay attention to is the one going on in our own heads.

 

I coach very successful career-minded women that juggle numerous responsibilities. They feel tremendous pressure to succeed in their careers and in their personal life.  They are devoted to their families and every day is a struggle to make their lives run smoothly. My job involves helping them to identify their priorities in life and subsequently create a life that better reflects their priorities. That said, I’ve witnessed a mode of thinking that has become prevalent with successful career women— their need to not only succeed in their careers, but also be the absolute perfect parent.

 

So I guess the question becomes, what makes a perfect mother?  Is it creating a homemade dinner every night for your family? Is it baking daily for your family or making a handmade Halloween costume for your child every year?  Could it be getting your child involved in every extracurricular possible to ensure success in their life?  Maybe it’s volunteering weekly in each one of your child’s classes at school?

 

I hear a lot of this faulty thinking with successful women.  They struggle with guilt daily because of their inability to do everything they BELIEVE it takes to raise a successful child. Social Media just magnifies the guilt. On Pinterest, you can view the beautiful cakes that moms are making or the incredible craft projects. On Facebook, you can hear how a fellow mom’s child just received a 36 on her ACTS and another mom’s child just received a full scholarship to college. The pressure is on to show that you too can mold a child into a successful wonder.  But, how can you do everything, and is that even realistic? Something eventually has to give, and most of the time it’s the woman’s own needs that go unmet.

 

I have raised two sons while working outside the home.  Here’s what I know, having lived the experience as a Mental Health Therapist and a parent: Don’t get so lost that you can’t see the forest for the trees. Don’t lose sight of your true priorities.  You want to raise a successful, confident, independent child that has integrity? Then give them the tools to achieve this. Give them unconditional love, rules to feel safe and your QUALITY TIME.   When you’re with them, be present and listen. Make sure they feel that they can always come to you with a problem and you will help them think it through. Be a role model for your children and don’t be so stressed that you miss the opportunity to take advantage of those teachable moments.

 

Let go of the rest.

 

Let me be honest here— if I asked my kids what they remember from their childhood, they’re not going to mention the perfect meal, homemade cake, or the many hours I logged in their classroom. Those are great if you truly have the time to make it happen.  However, They WILL mention the time I went hiking with them or the time I listened to them when they were going through a crisis.

 

So all you working moms out there— get your priorities straight and stop listening to the inside chatter. Be present in the times that truly matter.

 

 

When They Need You

I got home late Wednesday night from a full day of activities.  Completely exhausted but too wound up to sleep, I took a bath to relax and began to read a book. I’m not really not sure what time I finally went to sleep, but when I woke up at 7:15, I had a massive headache and my body felt 20 years older than my chronological age.

 

I willed myself to wake up and put my contacts in my eyes. I threw on some clothes, ran downstairs and prayed that the coffee would make my head feel better.  After my quick trip to the gym coupled with the cup of coffee, I was closer to feeling human.  That’s when I got the call.

 

My 25-year-old son, who lives in Columbus, had been at home for a week recovering from Diverticulitis.  A strange disease for a young guy, but painful just the same. He had been diagnosed a week before and had done nothing but lie on the couch and sleep.  I believe the days were getting long and lonely.

 

Anyway, I asked him how he was feeling and he said, “the same, maybe a little better”.  I was hoping for more than “a little better”.  He asked me if I could come in to visit with him. He then repeated this statement multiple times. There I was, sitting at my desk, with a million things to do. My appointments had canceled a couple hours before, and I impulsively decided that this was a sign that I should just go. I ran to change my clothes and left for Columbus.

 

I believe he called me two times during that car ride. Each time, he didn’t really have a good reason for calling.  When I pulled up to the townhouse, he was sitting outside waiting for me, so excited and happy that I was there. On pain medication and unable to drive, he was relieved to get out of the house and go to lunch.  Over our meal, he decided that I should make him some homemade soup. I took him shopping and picked out the foods that he could eat. He said it felt good to be walking and moving through the store instead of lying on a couch.

 

We went back to his place and I made the soup. He talked to me the whole time and helped me cut up vegetables. He repeatedly told me how much he appreciated me taking him out and making dinner. We watched TV together for a while until I announced that it was time to go. He kept insisting that I should stay but I knew he had a friend coming over soon. Instead, I suggested that he come home with me, but he insisted, “This was his home”.

 

When I heard this, my first feeling was hurt but my second feeling was pride. He had built a life here and had become independent. This was the way it was supposed to be.

 

On the ride home, I was thinking about our conversation. I had asked him what I should write about this week, and without missing a beat, he suggested that I write about how kids always need their moms. He said that it doesn’t matter how old you get, how independent you are, or how tough you are, there are certain times in your life when only your mom can help you feel better. I think he’s right.3

 

O How Time Flies

Yesterday, I attended to the YWCA Career Women’s Achievement Awards Luncheon. Frankly, there’s nothing I enjoy more than being in a room stuffed with sassy, successful women!  As I sat there and listened to the impressive stories, I realized that I had better get busy.  If these women were able to accomplish all these great feats with so many obstacles in their path, then there was no excuse for me!

 

Diane Nyad, the 63-year-old long distance swimmer, was the guest speaker for the event.  Honestly, I didn’t expect to be so affected by what she had to share about her life.  However, I was enamored with a woman at the age of 63 who refused to slow down.  She continued to challenge herself with such lofty goals.

 

One thing in particular, really resonated with me.  She spoke about how rapidly you pass through the different transitions in your life.  One minute you’re graduating from college, and the next thing you know, you’re having a baby.  In what seems like a blink of an eye, that same child is preparing to go away to college and you realize that you’ve been in your career for 20 years.  Life definitely goes by at a warp speed.

 

Diane reminded us that we need to make a decision about how we approach our life. We can put our hopes and dreams off until later on, or we can seize the moment now. The problem with choosing the former is that later often doesn’t come.

 

My two sons and my future daughter-in-law were home for a visit last week.  Having everyone in the same house doesn’t happen very often.  After I went to bed, my boys stayed up and went searching for old DVDs of our family.  They reported that they had spent hours watching the record of their lives.  They insisted that I share the experience with them the next day.

 

As I watched my two sons at those very young ages, I was hit with a feeling of melancholy.  How did that happen?  When did those adorable little things turn into adults?  It seems like yesterday that I was in the hospital delivering my oldest.  It seemed like yesterday that I was dropping my youngest off at day-care and going to school plays and having school conferences. Watching those recorded moments reminded me how precious each day really is and how important it is to go after what you truly want in life.

 

I work daily with women that give me all the reasons why they shouldn’t move forward.  I have heard some fabulous excuses why each one of them should continue to stay where they are instead of taking the leap.  I often remind them that they need to channel the courage to step out and risk making the wrong decision. Just move. A person in motion stays in motion. A woman at rest stays at rest.

 

This is your wake-up call. If you’ve been putting that move off, think again.  Take a chance and move forward. Live your life with no regrets. If Diane can do it, so can you.

“What If” Moments in Life

I read the forecast the night before and it didn’t look promising. Rain, rain and more rain was expected throughout the day.  I shared with my husband that I was disappointed I wouldn’t be able to go for a walk outside.  He didn’t understand why I couldn’t just go to the gym if I wanted some exercise.

 

For me, going to the gym is very different than being able to walk outside.  I enjoy walking around the neighborhood, watching all the spring flowers bloom and hearing the birds chirping.  A walk in nature helps me relax and gets me in a creative mode.

 

I kept peering outside to see if it was raining yet.  Could I beat the rain?  Could I get at least a 15-minute walk in before the downpour started?  I decided to take my chances and go for it.  As I enjoyed my walk outdoors, it suddenly dawned on me that twenty minutes had passed and it hadn’t rained yet.  When I hit 40 minutes on my walk, the sun graced me with its presence.  With no sign of rain in sight, I continued to walk.

 

As I peered up at the sky, it occurred to me.  What was the reason I couldn’t go for a walk— because it was going to rain? What exactly was going to happen if it did rain on me?  As far as I could tell, the worst that thing to happen would be that I would come back wet and would have to change my clothes. By the time I got back to my house, I had walked a good hour and the sun was shining.  I felt accomplished, and energized to get some work done.

 

I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme while coaching clients.  It’s called the “what if” syndrome.  What if I take that new job and I hate it?  What if I start a new business and it fails miserably?  What if I buy that house and I’m not happy there?  You can play the “what if” game in every facet of your life. In fact, the “what if” game can keep you paralyzed. For any decision that you make in life, you can certainly find the reasons why it might not be the absolute best decision.   If you’re a really dedicated thinker, you’ll be able to come up with a justifiable explanation in almost every situation.

 

Although being deliberate in your decision-making can be a positive asset, being too deliberate in your thinking can definitely work against you.  It can hold you back from taking part in many life experiences that move you forward.  Taking a risk, big or small, is part of living. It starts with something simple like taking the chance to go for a walk in unpredictable weather. It leads to something more major like making a career change.

 

I’ve decided that instead of playing the “what if “game, I’m going to consistently play the “so what, it’ll all work out” game. I suggest that you do the same.

 

 

“What If” Moments in Life

I read the forecast the night before and it didn’t look promising. Rain, rain and more rain was expected throughout the day.  I shared with my husband that I was disappointed I wouldn’t be able to go for a walk outside.  He didn’t understand why I couldn’t just go to the gym if I wanted some exercise.

 

For me, going to the gym is very different than being able to walk outside.  I enjoy walking around the neighborhood, watching all the spring flowers bloom and hearing the birds chirping.  A walk in nature helps me relax and gets me in a creative mode.

 

I kept peering outside to see if it was raining yet.  Could I beat the rain?  Could I get at least a 15-minute walk in before the downpour started?  I decided to take my chances and go for it.  As I enjoyed my walk outdoors, it suddenly dawned on me that twenty minutes had passed and it hadn’t rained yet.  When I hit 40 minutes on my walk, the sun graced me with its presence.  With no sign of rain in sight, I continued to walk.

 

As I peered up at the sky, it occurred to me.  What was the reason I couldn’t go for a walk— because it was going to rain? What exactly was going to happen if it did rain on me?  As far as I could tell, the worst that thing to happen would be that I would come back wet and would have to change my clothes. By the time I got back to my house, I had walked a good hour and the sun was shining.  I felt accomplished, and energized to get some work done.

 

I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme while coaching clients.  It’s called the “what if” syndrome.  What if I take that new job and I hate it?  What if I start a new business and it fails miserably?  What if I buy that house and I’m not happy there?  You can play the “what if” game in every facet of your life. In fact, the “what if” game can keep you paralyzed. For any decision that you make in life, you can certainly find the reasons why it might not be the absolute best decision.   If you’re a really dedicated thinker, you’ll be able to come up with a justifiable explanation in almost every situation.

 

Although being deliberate in your decision-making can be a positive asset, being too deliberate in your thinking can definitely work against you.  It can hold you back from taking part in many life experiences that move you forward.  Taking a risk, big or small, is part of living. It starts with something simple like taking the chance to go for a walk in unpredictable weather. It leads to something more major like making a career change.

 

I’ve decided that instead of playing the “what if “game, I’m going to consistently play the “so what, it’ll all work out” game. I suggest that you do the same.

 

 

Life Transitions

For years, the trampoline has been a staple of our backyard. When my older son was in high school, it was a common occurrence to see a slew of kids in the backyard jumping on the trampoline.  After he went away to college, my younger son and his friends pretty much took over where he had left off.

 

The trampoline got so much mileage that we eventually had to buy a new one.  At the time, I thought it was kind of crazy for us to make another purchase.  You see, my son was turning 16 and only had a couple years left at home. However, the new trampoline got plenty of usage and the backyard again was filled with laughter.

 

My younger son is now 21 years old. In the last year or so, the trampoline hasn’t really seen much action.  However, a new family recently moved in next door. Once in awhile, I’ll get a knock on the door from a little one, asking if they can play on the trampoline.  I was more than happy to see it get used again.

 

My husband and I were talking one night when the conversation turned to the trampoline. I suggested that we offer to give the trampoline to our neighbors. My husband agreed and I broached the subject the next day with my neighbor. He seemed interested, but the trampoline stayed put in our yard.

 

Two weeks ago, my neighbor brought the topic up again.  He wondered if I was still game for giving away the trampoline.  I replied that if he could figure out how to get it over the fence in one piece, it was his.  With the help of my husband and two neighbors, it was hoisted over the fence and rolled into position in their backyard.  The whole neighborhood of kids was involved in the process.

 

For the next 6 straight hours, we heard kids screaming, laughing and generally having a great time while jumping around.  In fact, for the next 7 days we heard laughter emanating from that backyard.

 

It was my idea to give up the trampoline. I accepted the fact that my kids were growing up and it was time to move on.  However, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel a twinge when it was finally gone. I most certainly did.  It made it more final and real that I no longer had young children.  Another part of my life had transitioned.

 

I felt it even more last night.  My older son called to say that he had proposed to his girlfriend.  As excited as I was for the two of them and as much as I love the girl, I felt that familiar twinge.  My family was changing whether I liked it or not.  Things would never be the same.

 

Whenever you go through a transition in life, you have a choice.  You can accept the new landscape, or you can fight and claw at the change.  Change is never easy.  We are all creatures of habit and strive to keep things status quo.  But the truth is that relationships, people, jobs and situations are always changing.  If you want to stay happy, you need to roll with the changes and embrace them. You must find ways to deal with and accept your new reality.

 

Tonight, I’m relaxing on my deck in my backyard, working on my computer. The kids next door are yelling, laughing and having fun on the trampoline. I could swear it sounds exactly like it did 10 years ago. You can’t imagine how much pleasure that’s giving me.

 

 

Asking For It

The first time he mentioned it, we were in the middle of a pleasant conversation.  We were talking about getting a gym membership and my son worked it into the conversation. “You should consider letting me have your treadmill,” he said.  Then he continued, “You guys aren’t using it at all. I bet you haven’t used that thing for a couple of years. Do you think that you could get Dad to agree to give it up?”  I knew how my husband felt about giving up his treadmill or any of his possessions. He becomes attached to things. Somehow, just having it take up space in our extra bedroom makes him happy.

 

I responded with, “You’ll have to ask your Dad about that one.”  My first thought was that I had absolutely no problem letting the treadmill go— but it took two votes to make it happen.  He continued with his persuasive skills and shared how it would be very convenient for him to workout at the end of the day.  He stated that it would make his life so much easier and would offer him the ability to work off steam so he could tackle his academic work.

 

Two weeks later, we were having a nice talk when the conversation turned to working out.  “Have you and dad discussed the treadmill?”  I replied that I had forgotten about it the minute we got off the phone.  “The weather is getting really cold and it would be so much easier to run on the treadmill inside. I have the perfect place for it now that we’re in the new apartment.” I asked him how he would get the treadmill to his house and he had the perfect answer. “I can come get it with a rented truck.”

 

Yesterday, I was asking him what he and his girlfriend need or want this year, and he gave me a couple ideas of what they could use. Then he continued, “You know, that treadmill would make a great gift. We could both make use of it during the next couple months.”

 

After I got off the phone, I began thinking about the treadmill.  But more than the treadmill itself, I was thinking about his strategy in acquiring it. His ability to see beyond the “NO” was just astounding!  Each time that we had discussed the possible acquisition of the treadmill, I had either said no or gave no response. He had called his dad and his dad had said no.  But that didn’t deter him.  He just kept on going, weaving this into each conversation in a very natural way.  He never came on too aggressive to the point where I was irritated.  We just discussed it enough that it started to sound like a good idea.  Not only that, but it started to sound like an idea that was going to happen.

 

Yes, now that I think about it, we could all use some lessons from Zach.  He has perfected the art of asking for the sale. He doesn’t back down from his no while reminding the person why they need to make this good decision.  A strategy that makes the other person realize that not only should they buy into the idea, but they’ll feel “darn good” about buying into the idea.

 

If you’re in business, take heed to this— internalize this principle.  Most individuals don’t get the deal because they think no really means no. But no should really mean, “I might be convinced in the near future, but right now I can’t commit.”

 

Zach had a long-term strategy to closing this deal.  He needed to finesse the situation and keep his eye on the goal.

 

Whether you’re building your business, working in sales, or just trying to win that promotion, you’ll eventually need to ask for it.  And, chances are, you’ll be shot down the first time around.  But remember to do a “Zach” and keep focused on your goal. Be patient, keep your eye on the prize and remind them of why it’s the absolute best decision they can make.

Happiness Thermostat

My husband insists on putting the thermostat down as low as possible in the summer AND the winter.  In the summer, he wants the rooms as chilly as possible and in the winter, he’s comfortable in a cool room. I’m the polar opposite of him.  In the winter, I’m constantly freezing and want the heat up as high as possible.  In the summer, I’m constantly freezing in air conditioning and don’t want cold air blowing on me. Apparently, my internal thermostat is quite different than his.

 

Our “happiness thermostat” also couldn’t be more opposite. My happiness thermostat is set on “happy” 97% of all the days of the year.  When I dip from that set point, I bounce back fairly quick.  I’m sorry to say that the same can’t be said about him.  There are dramatic ups and downs from day to day and I don’t see anything close to my degree of happiness.  He has a more subdued feeling that probably translates to “life is pretty good but I don’t want to say it’s great because something could happen to change that and then I would be VERY unhappy”.

 

According to a happiness theory, each one of you has a distinct set point of happiness.  You hover back and forth around that set point but you basically stay in that specific range your whole life.  In a society that is obsessed with finding happiness, it’s important to think about this bit of information I just shared.  Looking back on your life, do you see the pattern of your happiness?  Of course there’s ups and downs when you hit some trying times in your life, but basically, day to day, what is your happiness thermostat set on?

 

Why are there people that have very few material possessions, yet are able to find a way to be happy? How do they find happiness when the odds are stacked against them? Don’t they know how miserable they should be? On the other hand, I’ve seen women that look like they possess everything that they would ever desire in life and yet they’re still miserable. They’re terribly unhappy and they search for the “thing” that will bring them happiness.

 

Maybe part of the problem is how we view happiness.  If you view happiness in life as a constant state of bliss, you may be getting closer to why you’re not “finding it”.  Life isn’t all about one perfect, fabulous day after another. There are days that are trying, stressful and hard work but you can still be happy. Not that “crazy with excitement” happy, but an “I am satisfied and appreciate life and everyone in it” happy.

 

There is a need for us to permanently change our way of thinking about that five-letter word. Accept that there are going to be down times in your life when you’re sad. Sad doesn’t mean depressed.  There’s a big difference between sad and depressed and our society often forgets that. Depressed is a serious condition while sad is an important universal feeling that all of us come to know now and then. Between you and me, I think we live in a society that’s terrified of being sad.  We’ll do anything to feel “happy” again.  Readjust your thinking on this and get comfortable with knowing you can feel sad in a situation and it’s not the end of the world. It’s just a part of life.

 

I hope you’re thinking about your own thermostat and how you can make some positive changes that will help you find a place of happiness. That ecstatic blissed out feeling happens now and then in your life, but that feeling of appreciation for being alive, that satisfaction with your family and friends— that’s the “happy” you need to come to expect in your life.