This Girlfriend Has Found Her Inner Sass!

When my girlfriend Lisa was called into her boss’s office, with human resources present, she had a good idea what was about to happen.  She had seen the same scenario unfold numerous times over the 25 years working for this company.  Lisa felt heartbroken with the news; she had invested so much of her time and energy into her position as a Fashion Director.  Although she enjoyed her job, the pace was tiring; she worked many 12-14 hour days proving her worth to her company. In a split second, her whole world changed.
“First I felt terribly sad but then I thought about how this is a new chapter in my life. I am a big believer in things happening for a reason.”  Lisa had no idea what to do with the rest of her life. She knew this much: she wanted to do something that was fun, supportive of women and be able to give back in some way. With her solid business background, and gift for style and fashion, she decided that owning a hair salon would be a good fit for her entrepreneurial spirit.  After researching different companies, she settled on “Lunatic Fringe”.

 

She admits that she could have never taken this leap of faith if she was still securely employed.  Once the security of a job was gone, it was easier to push her self forward and take a risk. And that is exactly what she did; she and her husband, both unemployed, applied for the business loan and banked on this business working.  Now that’s a big leap of faith!

 

When I took a tour of Lisa’s awesome new place, a couple things really stood out for me. The first was the pride that she had for every single inch of the salon.  The other thing that really impressed me was the way she interacted with the employees.  The respect she shows each employee is evident through her actions.  Also evident was the respect the employees had for their leader.  The excitement and passion she has for making her salon the very best is obvious to anyone that spends a few minutes with her.

 

18 months ago, Lisa was dealt a blow emotionally and financially.  Her whole world turned upside down.  In spite of this, Lisa was able to find her strength and move forward.  You see, one of the reasons Lisa was able to move forward was her ability to know “who she was and what she needed in life to be happy”.  She didn’t look back and waste time focusing on the losses in her life, she just kept putting one foot in front of the other. She believed in her abilities and talents even when things seemed bleak. With her husband unemployed, she could have easily panicked, shifted gears and gone the safe route.  But she didn’t;  she had a vision and she believed in it.

 

Lisa is my kind of girlfriend who definitely has her inner sass.  I have zero doubt that Lunatic Fringe Hair Salon will be a huge success. Be sure to stop in there and check it out—you’ll be glad you did. This really couldn’t have happened to a nicer, more deserving girlfriend!

 

 

 

I woke up this morning to the sound of my pug, Miles snoring heavily into my ear while sitting on my pillow. He was perched above my body with one paw placed strategically on my head.  This way, he could predict the precise moment I decided to move even a muscle and get out of bed— to give him his breakfast.  Miles, like all Pugs, has a one-track mind in the morning. Pushed up against me on one side was my cat Biscuit, while my cat Joey was under the covers on the other side. I wouldn’t exactly say that I was comfortable in this position, but for some reason, I find myself accommodating all three of them all night long.

 

I know many people that don’t have any pets.  Frankly, they don’t feel as though they are missing out on anything.  I tend to disagree.  When I worked as a Mental Health Therapist, I often suggested to clients that they get a pet.  Whether it is a goldfish, cat, dog, or hamster, studies have shown (and I have witnessed first-hand) that owning a pet is beneficial to your emotional and physical health. Let me explain.

 

Pets make great company

You don’t have to ever feel like you are coming home to an empty house when you have a pet.  They are there to greet you and keep you company and are always happy to see you. They don’t ever talk back to you and seem to enjoy every conversation that the two of you have together.  They are there for you in the good times and in the bad.  Pets are loyal to you and they don’t judge— wonderful qualities that are sometimes sorely lacking in humans.  On top of that, sitting with your pet and stroking its fur has been shown to reduce stress and lower your blood pressure.

 

Pets give you someone to care for in your life

In my past work, I was able to see firsthand how important it is for each one of us to feel that we have purpose in life. As humans, we like the feeling of being needed.  I worked with a woman that was going through a very rough time in her life. She had no partner, friends or children but she had a dog.  That dog gave her a reason to get up in the morning and to keep on going in life.  She believed that her dog needed her and this gave her joy and meaning in her existence.  The truth is, they needed each other.

 

Pets make you laugh

I don’t know about your animals, but my dog and cats are quite comical. My favorite time is when my dog decides that he’s going to play with one of the cats. The problem is, Miles “thinks” the cats are dogs and expects them to interact like his friends.  This works for a while because the two cats are unusually laidback and basically like him.  Invariably, the game ends with fur flying and screeches when Miles again takes it way too far for any cat to endure. I immensely enjoy watching the same pattern play out over and over— it never gets old.

 

Pets bring you happiness, pleasure, true companionship and purpose in your life.  On top of that, they positively impact your health in a variety of ways.  So if you have been contemplating getting a pet, go for it, girlfriend!

 

Choose Happiness, Girlfriend!

 

After a long summer at home, we moved my son into his own apartment at college.  We carried load after load of his belongings across a courtyard and up two flights of stairs on a record-breaking hot day in Michigan. My son had never laid eyes on this apartment; therefore, he had absolutely no idea what to expect. It felt like 103 degrees in his room as the two fans blew hot air on us. As I helped him put away his clothes and set up the kitchen, he turned to me with a huge smile and sweat pouring down his face and said, “Isn’t this the most awesome apartment you have ever seen?”

 

To be honest, I didn’t think it was the most awesome apartment I had ever seen but that doesn’t really matter, does it?  What matters is his perspective on the situation— and he was beyond happy.  What I found so fascinating was his ability to deal with the fact that the apartment was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  In his eyes, it was the most perfect place he had ever seen.  Here’s the bottom line— he chose happiness. He now had his own place to live, which enabled him to be independent.  I believe he coveted this over anything else in life. It didn’t matter to him if his friends had more or better, he was grateful for everything that he had at this point. This experience was a great adventure for him and the other stuff just was not going to get in the way of his happiness.

 

I constantly come across articles that explain how all of us can attain a state of happiness. Let’s face it: every girlfriend I work with is searching to find happiness in her life.  Some of us have known happiness in the past but have hit a snag in life while others feel they have been on a quest to find happiness their whole life.  One thing that I do know is that girlfriends that find happiness have a number of similar qualities.  They all seem to approach life in the same manner.

 

Girlfriends that find happiness (and their inner sass) are very clear on who they are and what they need in life. They are not afraid to take risks and go after what they want in life.  Women that find joy in life are aware of their strengths and take part in activities that utilize these strengths daily.  They realize that “material possessions” make you happy in the short term but certainly don’t keep you happy as time goes on.  Happy women know that life is not perfect on a daily basis— their expectations are reasonable.  Family and friends play an integral part of their life and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

One of the rules that happy women consistently follow is this: they are grateful for what they have in life instead of wanting what they don’t have. They appreciate their friends, family, and health on a daily basis. They see the possibilities in each situation.  So remember girlfriends— life is an adventure! Don’t lose sight of your priorities in life and choose happiness!

 

 

 

 

The Girlfriend Code

 

I’ve worked with many women in the past that struggle with having solid friendships in their lives; it’s difficult for them to keep good friendships over a long period of time. This is often because they don’t understand what it really takes to be a good friend.  Sometimes they don’t realize that there are unwritten rules you need to follow.

 

I remember making plans with my good friends to go bridesmaid dress shopping for my wedding. We searched and found a date that all three of us had free. As the day approached, I became more and more excited to share this time with people that were so important to me.  Two hours before we were supposed to meet,  my “close friend” called to say she couldn’t go.  She reported that her boyfriend had secured tickets to a high school basketball game that was about to start.  When I expressed my hurt and disappointment, she became angry with me and said that I was making a big deal out of the situation.

 

Our friendship never recovered from this one experience.  As time went on, she made it clear that she didn’t feel she had done anything wrong. On top of that, she was angry that I had any expectations of her in our friendship. I struggled with whether I should have continued to nurture a friendship with someone that wouldn’t even validate my feelings.  We both knew that her boyfriend had encouraged her to break the plans. But here’s the real truth—

She had broken the GIRLFRIEND CODE!

 

 

What do I mean by this?  Well, there are certain rules that true girlfriends live their life by. I call it the Girlfriend Code.

 

You never break plans with a good girlfriend to be with a guy

Do you hear that, girlfriends? Guys come and go but we need to cherish our good girlfriends.  Whether you are going to a movie, just hanging out together, or going to try on bridesmaid’s dresses, breaking plans is a big NO! Not only is it hurtful and expresses how little you value your friendship, but it sends a clear message to a guy that you will drop everything for him! That is not a healthy way to live your life!

 

You never pursue a guy that is already taken by a girlfriend

I don’t care if the two of you are just perfect for each other, this guy is “off limits”. As long as a guy is involved with a woman, he is not available.  End of story! Even if the guy is involved with a girl you are not friends with, you are still breaking the “girlfriend code”.  This is where integrity and self-worth come into the picture!

 

You never compete with a girlfriend

Contrary to what you see on “The Real Housewives”, true girlfriends don’t compete; they support each other.  When you feel the need to compete with other women, you are sending a clear message that you are threatened and feel insecure.  Strong, accomplished women with high self-esteem feel no need to overtly compete with other women.  This goes for girlfriends that feel the desire to compete through their children’s many accomplishments.  Next time you feel the urge to brag, take a good look inside.

 

You don’t engage in gossip about your girlfriend with other girlfriends.

When the talk turns to your good friend that is absent-do the right thing and defend her.  It is easy to talk negative about someone that is not present.  Take into account that next time it could be you who they are talking about.

 

I have said this before and I will say it again-we need our girlfriends in our life!  Cherish your relationships and live by the GIRLFRIEND CODE!