The Need to Please

Halfway through our 55-mile bike trip, my husband and I had stopped at a great café to eat lunch.  I was looking forward to resting my body and to getting rejuvenated for the long trip back. I was also thirsty and out-of-my-mind hungry. Incidentally, when I reach this point of hunger, it doesn’t matter where or what I eat; I just need food.  As we walked inside and saw tables available, the hostess informed us that it would be 15 minutes before we could get seated. That was my first clue that things wouldn’t go smoothly.

 

I immediately suggested that we go somewhere else. At that moment, I would have been more than happy to eat Subway in the grass. My husband reminded me that it wouldn’t be that long, and we could wait. Although we were seated after 15 minutes, we waited forever for the waitress to come to our table and take our order.  Receiving our drinks took another long wait, and we were finally presented with tiny juice glasses. When you’re thirsty, this doesn’t serve you well.

 

The waitress didn’t acknowledge us for the next 45 minutes. Yes, that’s how long it took for us to receive our food. Not once did she give me any kind of sign that she understood my frustration. You can just imagine the level of my patience during this time.  When we did receive our food, she didn’t bring my complete order.  I hadn’t even noticed because, by that time, I was beyond hungry and delirious.  I cleaned my plate within three minutes of it being set in front of me.

 

Looking back on the situation, I have a couple hard questions to ask myself. Why didn’t I articulate my concerns to the waitress during and after the experience?  Why didn’t I speak up and remedy the situation?  Where was my voice in this whole debacle?

 

I was working with a couple just a few years ago. The emotional woman shared that she was upset at her husband. When I inquired why, she stated how he never takes out the trash and that he expects her to do it. I asked her if she ever ASKS him to take out the trash. She replied with this statement, “He should know without me telling him.”  When I asked the husband what he thought of this, he replied that he was sorry for upsetting her, but that he didn’t realize she wanted him to take out the trash.

 

I don’t want to point fingers at anyone, but women are notorious pleasers in life. Many of you were taught at a young age that it’s a good thing to just go with the flow, not make waves, and do what makes everyone happy.  Somewhere back in your childhood, you probably received the inferred message that being a nice girl is a very positive attribute for a woman to possess. Let’s be honest— each one of you has some form of this toxic behavior that will negatively impact your personal and professional life.

 

I consider myself an assertive woman with sass— I’ve definitely found my voice.  However, even I fall back into old patterns ingrained in my childhood.  When I hold back because I hesitate to hurt other people’s feelings and upset them, this strategy ends up making me miserable and always has a poor outcome.

 

Keep in mind that there are a huge range of responses between rolling over and playing dead and being incredibly selfish and cruel.  Find a place somewhere in the middle to call your own.

O How Time Flies

Yesterday, I attended to the YWCA Career Women’s Achievement Awards Luncheon. Frankly, there’s nothing I enjoy more than being in a room stuffed with sassy, successful women!  As I sat there and listened to the impressive stories, I realized that I had better get busy.  If these women were able to accomplish all these great feats with so many obstacles in their path, then there was no excuse for me!

 

Diane Nyad, the 63-year-old long distance swimmer, was the guest speaker for the event.  Honestly, I didn’t expect to be so affected by what she had to share about her life.  However, I was enamored with a woman at the age of 63 who refused to slow down.  She continued to challenge herself with such lofty goals.

 

One thing in particular, really resonated with me.  She spoke about how rapidly you pass through the different transitions in your life.  One minute you’re graduating from college, and the next thing you know, you’re having a baby.  In what seems like a blink of an eye, that same child is preparing to go away to college and you realize that you’ve been in your career for 20 years.  Life definitely goes by at a warp speed.

 

Diane reminded us that we need to make a decision about how we approach our life. We can put our hopes and dreams off until later on, or we can seize the moment now. The problem with choosing the former is that later often doesn’t come.

 

My two sons and my future daughter-in-law were home for a visit last week.  Having everyone in the same house doesn’t happen very often.  After I went to bed, my boys stayed up and went searching for old DVDs of our family.  They reported that they had spent hours watching the record of their lives.  They insisted that I share the experience with them the next day.

 

As I watched my two sons at those very young ages, I was hit with a feeling of melancholy.  How did that happen?  When did those adorable little things turn into adults?  It seems like yesterday that I was in the hospital delivering my oldest.  It seemed like yesterday that I was dropping my youngest off at day-care and going to school plays and having school conferences. Watching those recorded moments reminded me how precious each day really is and how important it is to go after what you truly want in life.

 

I work daily with women that give me all the reasons why they shouldn’t move forward.  I have heard some fabulous excuses why each one of them should continue to stay where they are instead of taking the leap.  I often remind them that they need to channel the courage to step out and risk making the wrong decision. Just move. A person in motion stays in motion. A woman at rest stays at rest.

 

This is your wake-up call. If you’ve been putting that move off, think again.  Take a chance and move forward. Live your life with no regrets. If Diane can do it, so can you.

Letting Go of Baggage

Years ago, I worked at an organization with a good friend.  Throughout the relationship, I had always been supportive of her family and her career. Since my company had identified her to move up in the organization, my boss included her in a meeting to discuss my yearly review.  I didn’t see this as any threat and had no problem with the decision to include her.  Frankly, no one knew my work better.

 

However, I hadn’t been in the meeting for even five minutes before I began to sense a shift in her behavior.  When the supervisor made some false accusations toward me, my eyes immediately searched my friend. I expected her support— what I got was more accusations. The two became a tag team of attack while I was left confused, hurt and angry.  All I kept thinking in my head was, “what the heck is happening here”.

 

Being attacked by my supervisor was disappointing and confusing, but being attacked by my friend was just devastating for me.  I walked out dazed, hurt and angry.  I couldn’t imagine why someone I thought I knew so well would act so out of character.

 

I’m sure each one of you has been in this same place.  Someone lets you down and hurts you so deeply that you have difficulty dealing with the emotions and letting go of the anger.  Some of you might still be carrying around baggage from years ago.  If so, heed my tips for forgiving and moving on in life.

 

Identify the feelings and loss in your life

When my incident occurred, I had difficulty articulating my feelings.  I knew I was hurt and angry, but I couldn’t make sense past that thought. As time went on, it became clearer to me what I had lost and why the situation had been so painful.  It was helpful for me to put these thoughts down on paper and talk to close friends about the situation.

 

Allow yourself time to grieve

This is an important time in the process of forgiveness. Many women feel uncomfortable expressing negative emotions. During this time, allow yourself the opportunity to feel any emotions that seem natural for the situation.  Don’t stuff the emotions down because this will only make it difficult to complete the process of forgiveness.

 

Try to see the situation outside your own pain

Easier said than done right?  When you’re angry and in pain, you have difficulty seeing anything but what’s happening to you. However, when you get to the point where you can envision what that other person is actually feeling, you will move closer to finding the path to forgiveness.

 

Look for what the situation has taught you in life

No matter how bad the situation, there’s always a lesson somewhere. What have you learned from the experience? What did you not realize until the situation occurred?  Find some bit of information that helps you gain perspective in life.

 

Forgive while not expecting anything in return

When you forgive someone, you let go of the idea of revenge and move on.  It doesn’t mean you put yourself in a position that allows that individual to hurt you again— it just means you’ve made a decision in your heart to forgive them for their actions.  YOU decide that you’re tired of holding on to the anger and hurt and their subsequent affect on your quality of life.  Once you forgive and let go, you get to enjoy healthier relationships, less stress and anxiety and greater psychological well-being.

 

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to finally unpack that suitcase and deal with some unfinished business.

A Break in the Routine

My head was spinning with all the “stuff” I needed to get accomplished today. My “to do” list was unusually long and I was trying to not feel overwhelmed. It was one of those days where you have trouble deciding just where to begin.

 

I’m sure you’ve been in my shoes before.  There’s a good chance that you have a million things to get done as well.  In spite of this situation I found myself in, I wanted to share with you how I ended up spending my morning.

 

When I woke up this morning, I realized that we had received quite a bit of snow. The driveway needed to be shoveled and I was the only one in the house that could do it (Miles the Pug wasn’t volunteering). So, after having my coffee and breakfast, I bundled up with all my layers and ventured outside with Miles to do some shoveling.  I hadn’t worked more than 10 minutes before my next-door neighbor and his three kids insisted on coming over and helping me.  He had a snow blower, which made the job much, much easier.

 

Miles was more than happy to see the kids. The whole family got busy working hard on my driveway.  During the process, 5-year-old Logan’s ears got cold, so I helped him put on his hood.  The girls chattered away about snow days and life.  I burst their bubble by reminding them that they weren’t going to get another snow day and how they better do their homework.

 

When they moved on to shovel another driveway, I called my friend and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk in the snow.  We walked for 90 minutes, trudging through the deep snowdrifts. We marveled at the way everything looked so beautiful.

 

I had many, many things to do.  It was pretty indulgent of me to go for that walk and just enjoy myself.  I really should have been sitting in front of my computer, getting more of my paperwork done. However, something about listening to the kids conversations and being with them made me realize that I needed to enjoy myself in the winter wonderland.  The pure pleasure they had, the excitement that it was a snow day, and the huge smiles on their faces took me back to when I was young. I wanted to enjoy the snow and have as much fun as them!

 

Now the story could have ended with me going back to work, feeling guilty for taking the time to play when I should have been responsible and working. I could have spent the whole day in a funk, thinking about how I let myself down.  But I didn’t. I came back from my walk feeling alive and energetic. The irony is that when I got back to my desk, I was very productive, creative and focused.  And that’s exactly why I’m sharing this story.

 

If you don’t watch it, you can get stuck in the rut of work, routine and responsibility.  You can stay there so long that you forget how to have fun. You have to realize that there are times where you just need to appreciate the moment. The work will always be waiting for you when you get back.  And it just might change your whole perspective.

 

The 4 Habits of Happy People

It’s not as hard as you think to find happiness. It’s right under your nose, but you’re probably too busy fretting or worrying to notice it.  Everything comes down to habits. The bottom line is that positive people have good habits that bring more happiness into their lives.

 

They reach out to others and spread good feelings around. 

Humans are genetically wired to need social connections in their life.  Happy people realize this and are always looking to fill this need and spread positive energy. Just last week, I was standing in the Starbucks line waiting on my tall vanilla latte when I looked over at a woman next to me.  She said, “I’m sorry, I know you’re looking at me because you think I took cuts in line, but I’m just waiting for my coffee”.  I looked over at her and said, “Actually, I looked over at you because I noticed the color of your sweater looks really good on you”.  She smiled and said, “I was looking at you and thinking you had the prettiest smile”.  We both left the line feeling great.

 

They find the “funny” in life.

If you’ve lost your humor, please go searching for it.  Laughter is what gets you through the tough times.  Just this morning, I was getting frustrated because my cat Biscuit had walked across my keyboard and changed the resolution on my computer.  I spent way too much time researching the issue and trying different methods, but nothing seemed to fix the problem.  At my wits end, I decided to leave for lunch. When I came home two hours later, I found Biscuit lying on the open computer. I yelled at him and then looked at the computer.  He had fixed the problem with his strategically placed body parts.  The irony of the whole situation made me laugh very, very hard.

 

They have gratitude in life for all things big and small.

You will never find your happiness if you can’t appreciate what you have right now. Not only that, but true happiness also comes in the smallest of packages.  Just two days ago, I had found this pretty sweater that was on the “60% off” sale rack at Kohls.  The price was already phenomenal, but when I went through the checkout line, the employee asked me if I had a coupon.  I didn’t, but the lady behind me shared that I was welcome to use her 30% off coupon.  I thanked her profusely and received quite a deal. The excitement from that bargain and the kindness of my checkout neighbor kept me flying high for the rest of the night.

 

They understand that their happiness will only be found from within.

It’s interesting.  Everyday I come across women that are investing so much time and energy in trying to change others.  They really believe that their happiness and peace is contingent on this change. Only when they give up this notion of control will they begin their journey to more peace and serenity. If you could remember that you can only control your responses to other’s actions and behaviors, you’ll be closer to finding your happiness.

 

So how did you stack up?  Could you use some improvement in your happiness habits? My suggestion is that you start today and power up your positive quotient.

 

 

 

Long-Term Solutions

I was having a conversation with a friend at the gym this morning.  We were talking about our children and our lives, and that led to a conversation about relationships.  She shared that she knew someone that was in a bad marriage and had been for years.  She wasn’t sure why this friend stayed in this relationship, but lately, the friend had been telling her about another man that was paying attention to her.  This new infatuation took up a lot of space in her head and the whole thing really bothered my friend.

 

She didn’t understand why this woman was turning to someone else when she had a current relationship that obviously needed attention.  I agreed with her.  Frankly, I’ve seen this same scenario play out over and over with numerous relationships.  Instead of dealing with the situation at hand and facing the uncomfortable truth, many turn to other people to give them what they’re missing.  Common sense tells you that this isn’t going to turn out positively.  Eventually, the whole thing is going to combust and the problems are going to be bigger and harder to solve.  But doing this in the short-term is easier and not as painful.

 

Which leads me to this thought: why do people choose to handle their issues with short-term fixes that feel good instead of dealing with the problem?  I’m not just referring to relationships— I see the same pattern with women and their choices in their careers.  They take the job that pays more initially over the job that has potential and fits their skills better.  The extra money sounds really good and is an immediate fix.  They can’t imagine getting by on less money, even if it means down the road, they could very well have the job of their dreams.  They can’t visualize changing careers and doing what they love because they would have to start over financially and emotionally. All they can see is the long road ahead, which is hard, so they stay exactly where they are.

 

I see it when people are grappling with the decision to start a business.  Starting a business is a major sacrifice in your life. Chances are, you’ll be strapped for money, overworked, and deal daily with frustration.  Success won’t happen overnight and you have to be willing to wait to reap the benefits.  That “sure thing” paycheck seems like a much easier route to take.  It’s the owners that hang in there and are willing to keep working toward their far-away goal that find eventual success.

 

What I’m asking you to do is to think about your own life.  Is there an area of your life where you can’t bear to do the hard work?  Is it a relationship, career, or friendship?  Is it your health?  Is that piece of cake your short-term fix to feel better when you really need to do that one-hour workout at the gym and lose 10 pounds?  Do you find yourself giving in to your kid and letting him have that toy in the store because it’s easier than saying no and surviving the anger and rejection (and tantrum) that will follow the decision?

 

I’m suggesting that you stop putting band-aids on your problems.  There’s no quick way to make a million dollars.  There’s no secret way to instantly lose 20 pounds.  Your obstacles are not going to go away without some long-term planning and hard work. Stop doing what “feels good” in the short-term and face the issue at hand.  In the long run, this is the real recipe for happiness and success.

Passive-Aggressiveness

According to the dictionary, passive-aggressive behavior is a category of interpersonal interactions characterized by an obstructionist or hostile manner that indicates aggression.  In more general terms, people that exhibit passive-aggressiveness express this in non-assertive, subtle ways.

 

I hit the gym especially early this week since I was very busy with appointments. I was happy to see an old friend I hadn’t connected with for some time.  I took my spot on the elliptical machine and was glad to see that she was close enough to have a conversation with. The time began to fly by as we caught up on various current events.  Suddenly, I noticed a man on the other side of my friend. As we continued to talk, I saw that he was imitating us.  He was moving his mouth in a silent mimic of the two of us talking.  Out of the corner of my eye, I continued to monitor his actions. Off and on, he would make hand signals of people yapping and silently imitate talking.

 

Apparently, our conversation was bothering him.  He continued to grimace, roll his eyes and make faces of unhappiness.  At one point, he tried to get the attention of one of the workers and mouth to him how we were annoying him.  He was aware I was watching him, which did nothing to squelch his quest for more.  At one point, he talked out loud to himself but I couldn’t quite make out the words.  However, it didn’t really matter because the facial non-verbals told the whole story.

 

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.  Twenty minutes of this type of passive-aggressive behavior is enough for anyone to endure.  Firmly but without emotion, I said, “ You know Joe, you could put on some headphones if our talking is bothering you”.  He pretended like he didn’t hear me and got very quiet.

 

And that’s the end of the story.

 

I am pretty sure that at some point in your life, you have experienced this type of behavior.  Maybe you have experienced it in your own family or perhaps you’ve seen this play out at work.  Whenever this occurs, there are a couple things you need to keep in mind about the person indulging in the act:

 

1.  Individuals that tend to have passive-aggressive behavior have learned to utilize this pattern to get what they want in life. They have an inability to handle situations in a more direct manner.  Therefore, they often use smirks, off-handed comments and sarcasm to get their point across if they’re irritated.  You know when you’ve hit on one of these characters when they zing something at you and you have to actually think about whether it was an insult or not.  Deep down, they feel that this method is actually preferable to being direct and hurtful.

 

2.  If you want this behavior to stop, you need to handle it when it occurs.  The passive-aggressive individual doesn’t want to be “called out” in front of others since they aren’t comfortable dealing with situations directly.  Leave the emotion at home, and firmly question the behavior.  Over time, this behavior will only escalate if not dealt with appropriately.  If any of you are dealing with this in your own life, you know exactly what I mean.

 

Dealing with an individual that is passive-aggressive can be draining and frustrating. If you find yourself putting up with this behavior, nip it in the bud now before it grows to gargantuan proportions.  I’m thinking it just might be a little too late for my friend at the gym.

Dealing with Disappointment

My son was home from college for two weeks during the holidays.  I had talked to him before the break and had secured his “employment” in sound production. I wanted to make an audiobook of “31 Days to Finding Your Inner Sass”.  We had discussed the process and he reassured me he knew exactly what needed to be done.

 

You see, my son is a Music Production major and regularly records his own work.  He knows everything about recording and sound. He’s also a perfectionist- which can be a good thing or a bad thing, dependent on the situation.  Frankly, I usually like this quality in my employees.

 

I’m not quite sure why, but I had assumed this whole process would be simple. All you have to do is read into a microphone right?  How hard could it be? I didn’t realize the number of times that I stumble or slur my words when I speak.  My son pointed it out to me.  Day one in the studio, I also learned that you should never drink carbonated drinks while recording. Even the smallest gurgle sounds huge when you’re mic’ed so close.

 

This process was truly a learning experience for me. For example, I learned that the more you let me know I’m saying a word incorrectly, the more I continue to have difficulty saying the word.  It was not unusual to have me repeat a sentence four times until I got it right. As you can imagine, this was a time consuming process.

 

On day two, I got in big trouble. I was reading Chapter 7 when my son dramatically stopped the recording, tore off his headphones, and pointed at my mouth. “Are you chewing gum?”  I said nothing. He continued, “Mom, are you chewing gum?”.  Finally, with my head down, I said yes. Then, with all his professionalism, he said loudly, “You do not bring gum into a studio!!” I was busted and embarrassed.

 

My point in sharing all of these details is to let you know that I was NOT having fun. This was intense work that took hours and hours. I hadn’t comprehended what a time commitment this was going to be until I was in the thick of it. We continued to trudge through more chapters, and my little perfectionist continued to stop me every couple sentences.

 

On day three, we had plans to start recording at 2:00 pm.  At 1:30 pm I received a call from him. “Mom”, he said very calmly, “I don’t want you to panic, but my computer crashed last night”. I inquired into what that actually meant- did he lose everything we had completed?  He shared how he was on his way to the Apple store to see if it could be fixed. I asked him to keep me posted. To make a long story short, he found out that everything on his computer was forever gone.

 

As we went out to dinner that night, my husband turned to my son and I and asked why we weren’t more upset.  He couldn’t fathom how I had gone through this whole day without having an outburst of some kind.  “There’s nothing we can do about it”. We had calmly problem-solved but to no avail. The facts were the facts: we had to start again, whether we liked it or not.

 

Things are going to happen to you in life. Some of them will be more than frustrating and you might feel like “throwing in the towel”. You can get involved in your emotions and how life is so unfair to you. You can go on for days, obsessing and getting yourself more aggravated. This will lead to a big expenditure of energy and a real waste of your time.

 

I don’t know about yours, but I decided my time, energy and happiness is way too valuable.

 

 

How To Survive the Holiday Season

I spent Thanksgiving Day in Columbus with my whole family.  As expected on this holiday, there was way too much to eat and drink.  Fully stuffed and thankful, we got back on the road and headed toward Cincinnati.  We passed the outlet mall at about 10:00pm and were shocked (or maybe not so shocked) to see the crowded parking lot and the policeman controlling the heavy traffic.  There was a long line of cars that snaked around the ramp just off the freeway.  Are there really that many people that want to go shopping at 10:00 at night?  Are they afraid they’re missing out if they wait until the next day?

 

THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS HERE!

 

I know there are many people that would call what I witnessed “a good time”, but it looked extremely stressful and tiring to me.  I find the long lines, hurried impatient people, and the inability to find a parking space way too much for my taste. It all reminds me of just how stressful this season can be. In lieu of this phenomenon, I’ve worked on a few suggestions that you might find helpful.

 

If you strive to make the holiday festivities perfect, beware: that idea is not rooted in reality.

I gave up this belief many years ago.  Often, we get stuck on giving the perfect gift or the hosting perfect holiday dinner. One little thing goes wrong, and the whole day is ruined.  Our expectations are often out of kilter considering the true importance of the situation. Here’s a secret— our loved ones don’t need things perfect. For example, my sister had Thanksgiving at her house. She was stressed because she had just broken her ankle and wouldn’t be able to do everything.  She whispered to me, “I might buy some prepared foods at the grocery store”.  She viewed this as a real failure and felt guilty and stressed.  I reminded her that it didn’t matter; all that mattered was that we had dinner together.  No, it wasn’t perfect, but it was still a wonderful Thanksgiving.

 

Just having traditions is more important than what they actually entail.  Don’t get stressed out and stuck on the thought that your traditions have to be grandiose. You would be surprised at what people end up remembering in life.  I have adult kids, and they end up fondly remembering some of the rituals that seemed so miniscule to me.   What’s important is that your family has some rituals, spends quality time together and tries to make it fun.

 

Don’t try to compete with memories or the way it “should be”. 

Chances are, you remember some things from the past that you want to repeat for your family. Here’s a little hint about memories: sometimes we remember them a little different than how they actually happened.  Refrain from trying to compete with past holidays— they may never be able to measure up.  Live in the NOW and enjoy your time with family and friends in the present.

 

Take time for You during this holiday season. 

This is probably the most important thing you can do.  During this time, you’re focused on everyone else BUT you. The parties, the shopping, and all the family get-togethers will wear on you.  Now and then, take a few minutes and do some soul searching.  Tap into your emotions and see how you’re feeling.  Do you need some time alone to decompress?  Take part in whatever activity it is that helps you get grounded and centered again: walking, listening to music, or reading.  Listen to You and heed the warning when your body and soul say, “I need a time-out!”

 

Do me a favor. Please try to enjoy these next few weeks— minus the stress.  Make this the best holiday season ever.

Happiness Thermostat

My husband insists on putting the thermostat down as low as possible in the summer AND the winter.  In the summer, he wants the rooms as chilly as possible and in the winter, he’s comfortable in a cool room. I’m the polar opposite of him.  In the winter, I’m constantly freezing and want the heat up as high as possible.  In the summer, I’m constantly freezing in air conditioning and don’t want cold air blowing on me. Apparently, my internal thermostat is quite different than his.

 

Our “happiness thermostat” also couldn’t be more opposite. My happiness thermostat is set on “happy” 97% of all the days of the year.  When I dip from that set point, I bounce back fairly quick.  I’m sorry to say that the same can’t be said about him.  There are dramatic ups and downs from day to day and I don’t see anything close to my degree of happiness.  He has a more subdued feeling that probably translates to “life is pretty good but I don’t want to say it’s great because something could happen to change that and then I would be VERY unhappy”.

 

According to a happiness theory, each one of you has a distinct set point of happiness.  You hover back and forth around that set point but you basically stay in that specific range your whole life.  In a society that is obsessed with finding happiness, it’s important to think about this bit of information I just shared.  Looking back on your life, do you see the pattern of your happiness?  Of course there’s ups and downs when you hit some trying times in your life, but basically, day to day, what is your happiness thermostat set on?

 

Why are there people that have very few material possessions, yet are able to find a way to be happy? How do they find happiness when the odds are stacked against them? Don’t they know how miserable they should be? On the other hand, I’ve seen women that look like they possess everything that they would ever desire in life and yet they’re still miserable. They’re terribly unhappy and they search for the “thing” that will bring them happiness.

 

Maybe part of the problem is how we view happiness.  If you view happiness in life as a constant state of bliss, you may be getting closer to why you’re not “finding it”.  Life isn’t all about one perfect, fabulous day after another. There are days that are trying, stressful and hard work but you can still be happy. Not that “crazy with excitement” happy, but an “I am satisfied and appreciate life and everyone in it” happy.

 

There is a need for us to permanently change our way of thinking about that five-letter word. Accept that there are going to be down times in your life when you’re sad. Sad doesn’t mean depressed.  There’s a big difference between sad and depressed and our society often forgets that. Depressed is a serious condition while sad is an important universal feeling that all of us come to know now and then. Between you and me, I think we live in a society that’s terrified of being sad.  We’ll do anything to feel “happy” again.  Readjust your thinking on this and get comfortable with knowing you can feel sad in a situation and it’s not the end of the world. It’s just a part of life.

 

I hope you’re thinking about your own thermostat and how you can make some positive changes that will help you find a place of happiness. That ecstatic blissed out feeling happens now and then in your life, but that feeling of appreciation for being alive, that satisfaction with your family and friends— that’s the “happy” you need to come to expect in your life.